The best fat jokes

There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
Vote: has 64.59 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chocolate, fat, sex, wife, work
Yo momma so fat, she bounced over Wal-Mart, rolled over KMart, and landed on target.
Vote: has 64.50 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
Vote: has 64.35 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat she don't take pictures, she takes posters.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, instead lint in her belly button, she's gathered full sweaters.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Yo mamma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Yo Momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Your momma is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28, and her other arm is just as big!
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Yo mama is so fat it took her three whole months to get through a door.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, time, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat when god said let there be light she was told to move out of the way.
Vote: has 64.17 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, Yo mama