There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
Yo momma so fat, she bounced over Wal-Mart, rolled over KMart, and landed on target.
Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
Yo mama so fat she don't take pictures, she takes posters.
Yo' Mama is so fat, instead lint in her belly button, she's gathered full sweaters.
Yo mamma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
Yo Momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Your momma is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28, and her other arm is just as big!
Yo mama is so fat it took her three whole months to get through a door.
Yo mama so fat when god said let there be light she was told to move out of the way.