The best fish jokes

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."
Vote:
has 71.12 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: cat, death, fish, funeral, little Johnny
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.
Vote:
has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
How does an LA policeman go fishing? He catches one fish, then beats it until it tells him where the others are.
Vote:
has 70.80 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: cop, fish
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
Vote:
has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fish, holiday, sex, wife
Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"
Vote:
has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, fish
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
Vote:
has 69.53 % from 242 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, time
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
Vote:
has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
Vote:
has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: fish, money, redneck, stupid, travel
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Vote:
has 66.85 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late. His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead. The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing. To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did. My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
Vote:
has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: church, dad, fish, school, sport