The best fish jokes

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
How does an LA policeman go fishing? He catches one fish, then beats it until it tells him where the others are.
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has 70.80 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: cop, fish
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
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has 70.17 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
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has 69.89 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fish, holiday, sex, wife
Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, fish
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on a carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
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has 69.72 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, time
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: fish, money, redneck, stupid, travel
My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad. Ted asked if she was going to use worms. "No," she said. "I'm going to use a fishing pole."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, fish, kids
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, life
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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has 67.18 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish