The best fish jokes

Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?" Husband: "Yeah... Why?" Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
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has 56.76 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: baby, fish, marriage, wife
A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
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has 56.10 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: fish, husband, love, marriage, women
Two guys are fishing when one of them catches a fish. He brings it in the boat and as he cuts it open to clean it, a genie pops out and says, "Thanks for freeing me. I will grant you one wish." The fisherman looks around and says, "Well, we are almost out of beer, how about you turn this whole damn lake into beer". *POOF* the genie grants his wish and leaves. His partner slaps him on the chest and says, "What the hell did you do that for, now we have to piss in the boat!!"
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, fish, genie
Yo mama so ugly, even goldfish don't smile back.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: fish, ugly, Yo mama
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, sport
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: fish, marriage, phone, wife
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
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has 50.69 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish
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