Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday... The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers.
What kind of whale flies? Pilot whales.