The best fish jokes

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, sport
Fishing in a frozen lake It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!"
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: fish, sport, time, winter
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
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has 51.00 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish
Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
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has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: fish, kids, music
Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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has 49.12 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, fish
Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday... The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, fish, time
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
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has 47.06 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, food