The best fish jokes

Two guys are fishing when one of them catches a fish. He brings it in the boat and as he cuts it open to clean it, a genie pops out and says, "Thanks for freeing me. I will grant you one wish." The fisherman looks around and says, "Well, we are almost out of beer, how about you turn this whole damn lake into beer". *POOF* the genie grants his wish and leaves. His partner slaps him on the chest and says, "What the hell did you do that for, now we have to piss in the boat!!"
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, beer, fish, genie
Yo mama so ugly, even goldfish don't smile back.
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More jokes about: fish, ugly, Yo mama
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fish
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fish
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
Vote: has 53.57 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fish, marriage, phone, wife
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
Vote: has 52.38 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fish, sport
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, fish, food
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
Vote: has 51.58 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, fish
So this retarded blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay. The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills. So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well. In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills." So we told the Warden and he laughed he said: "you know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!" The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!" The blind couple said, "what happens to the fishes?" The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, fish, health, prison, terrorist


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