The best fish jokes

One day, a team of blondes and a brunette team took part in a fishing contest. They went to the Frozen Lake and installed from a two different perspectives. The brunettes were making fish one after another, but the blondes were unlucky. The blonde team gathered around in a circle and start a discussion about the problem and wanted to find an answer for it. After two hours they decided to send someone to spy on the other team, so they can find out what the brunettes were doing differently. The blonde spy goes and hides behind the bushes. After a while, breathless arrives at her team and screams with joy: "I’ve found it! I’ve found it! We gonna rip them off!" All the blondes, full of wonder asked her: "Spit it out, what do the brunettes do differently?" "Whole! They’re opening a whole in the ice!"
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, fish
Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing. Bill says, "Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing' in the rain!"
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: fish, golf, sport
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fish
A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?" His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son." The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?" Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son." Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?" Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son." The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: dad, fish, kids
After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress. "About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?" "Neither," she said. "It's a fish."
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: customer service, fish, food
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!” “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!” The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!” “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!” The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?” The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!” “Great!” He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!” “Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”
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has 59.71 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, fish, husband, wife
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, fish
Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish