The best fish jokes

A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, fish
Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bible, fish
Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?" Husband: "Yeah... Why?" Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
Vote: has 55.71 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, fish, marriage, wife
A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Vote: has 55.63 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, husband, love, marriage, women
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish
Yo mama so ugly, even goldfish don't smile back.
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, ugly, Yo mama
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
Vote: has 52.50 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, marriage, phone, wife