The best fish jokes

A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!” “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!” The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!” “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!” The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?” The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!” “Great!” He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!” “Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”
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has 60.88 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, fish, husband, wife
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, fish, game
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible, fish
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fish
Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing. Bill says, "Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing' in the rain!"
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: fish, golf, sport
Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?" Husband: "Yeah... Why?" Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
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has 57.49 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: baby, fish, marriage, wife
Why don't whales eat sushi very often? Of course whales like sushi. It's just those itty-bitty chop sticks that keep getting stuck in their teeth.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
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has 56.55 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: fish, husband, love, marriage, women