The best fish jokes

Two guys are fishing when one of them catches a fish. He brings it in the boat and as he cuts it open to clean it, a genie pops out and says, "Thanks for freeing me. I will grant you one wish." The fisherman looks around and says, "Well, we are almost out of beer, how about you turn this whole damn lake into beer". *POOF* the genie grants his wish and leaves. His partner slaps him on the chest and says, "What the hell did you do that for, now we have to piss in the boat!!"
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, fish, genie
A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
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has 59.49 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: fish, husband, love, marriage, women
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible, fish
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, fish
Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing. Bill says, "Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing' in the rain!"
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: fish, golf, sport
Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?" Husband: "Yeah... Why?" Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
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has 54.80 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: baby, fish, marriage, wife
Yo mama so ugly, even goldfish don't smile back.
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: fish, ugly, Yo mama
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: fish, marriage, phone, wife