The best fish jokes

How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fish
A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
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has 59.88 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: fish, husband, love, marriage, women
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible, fish
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Bill and Earl are out playing golf. They get to the 17th tee, which overlooks a small lake, and see two guys out on the lake fishing. Bill says, "Hey Earl check out these two idiots fishing' in the rain!"
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: fish, golf, sport
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, fish
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted,"Are there any gators around here?!" "Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!" "Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy,"How'd you get rid of the gators?" "We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, sport
Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?" Husband: "Yeah... Why?" Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
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has 55.11 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: baby, fish, marriage, wife
Yo mama so ugly, even goldfish don't smile back.
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: fish, ugly, Yo mama