The best fish jokes

Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, fish
A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."
Vote: has 55.87 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, husband, love, marriage, women
Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?" Husband: "Yeah... Why?" Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
Vote: has 55.71 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, fish, marriage, wife
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish, food
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret? He was a blubber mouth.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
Vote: has 52.91 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, fish
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
Vote: has 52.50 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, marriage, phone, wife
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish