Joke #1729

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
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Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
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Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
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Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
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There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!” “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!” The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!” “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!” The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?” The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!” “Great!” He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!” “Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”
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