Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you. Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.
Tom, Frank, and Harry are fishing in a boat. Frank stands up to get a beer, loses his balance, falls in the lake, and dissapears. After a few minutes, and no sign of Frank, Tom tells Harry he better go in after him. Harry drags him into the boat and notices hes not breathing. "Better give him mouth-to-mouth" says Tom. "Whew! I don't remember him having this bad of breath!" says Harry. Tom replies, "Oh yeah, well I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit!"
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
What kind of whale flies? Pilot whales.
My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
Your mom is so stupid she tried to drown a fish.