The best food jokes

My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, mean, religious, wife
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
Vote: has 77.50 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, lawyer
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
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More jokes about: animal, food, god, life
I was eating and enjoying my food when a man entered into the restaurant where i was eating with a brief case. I guess he is a politician cause his dressing and pot belly portrays it. He walked and sat down as every body looked at him. Suddenly a woman came to him and started crying. The woman knelt down and told him that her children die of hunger since her husband died. This man opened the brief case and gave this woman five thousand dollars. The woman jumped up and left the scene in happiness. I was still watching when another man started crying and came to him. He knelt down and begged him that he need a money to establish a business. This man brought out three hundred thousand dollars cheque and gave it to this man. This time, i started murmuring and practicing on the lie i will blow to have my own national cake. I started crying and came to the man. Immediately i knelt down, I heard "Cut! cut! cut!". I turned and saw the laughing director of the movie. Shame almost killed me.
Vote: has 77.50 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, money, political
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?" "He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
Vote: has 77.47 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life
Yo mamma is so fat when she tried to go to McDonald's she tripped over Wendy's and landed on Burger King.
Vote: has 77.20 % from 176 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup." Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
Vote: has 76.99 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'" The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'" The third Catholic woman says smugly, "My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'" The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well…?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6’2, hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, 'Oh my God…'"
Vote: has 76.66 % from 108 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: catholic, dirty, food, god, priest
Yo mamma is so fat, her diet pills say M & M.
Vote: has 76.62 % from 205 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama