The best food jokes

Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Vote: has 77.20 % from 126 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup." Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
Vote: has 76.99 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
Vote: has 76.96 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, food, nerd
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, political
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, food, health
One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas but at 50 miles per hour. The chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running the chicken ran up a farm lane and into a barn behind an old farm house. The salesman had some time to kill so he turned around and drove up the farm lane. He knocked at the door and when the farmer answered he told him what he had just seen. The farmer said that he was a geneticist and had developed this breed of chicken because he, his wife and his son each like a drumstick when they have chicken and this way they only have to kill one chicken. "That"s the most fantastic thing I've ever heard," said the salesman. "How do they taste?" "I don't know," said the farmer. "We've never caught one."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, food, time, wife
A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely. The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it." The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"
Vote: has 76.54 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, desert island, dog, food, men
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, hipster
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, lawyer
Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food