Your mama so fat she eats ice cream with a shovel.
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?"
"Bread"
"Yes"
"Hamburger"
"Ok"
A five years girl answered "Light",
"Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?"
"Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
Vote:
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
Q: What Valentine's Day candy is best to give a girl?
A: Her-She Kisses.
Vote:
First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?"
Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
Vote:
A tomato walks into work and a potato says:
"Hello, Tomatoe..."
He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"?
"Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"
Vote:
Whats long and Black??
The KFC line.
Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner.
We actually talked to each other.
It was awful!
Vote:
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.