The best food jokes

A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, marriage, mean
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
Vote: has 77.48 % from 148 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, food, relationship
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Vote: has 77.36 % from 64 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, fat, food, kids, relationship
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
Vote: has 77.32 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, food, nerd
A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs. The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!" She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine." Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." But the mother cuts him off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine." Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." And the mother cuts him off and says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine." But then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
Vote: has 77.25 % from 85 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, dog, food, masturbation
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, chocolate, food, stupid
A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries. After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here." "At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, money
This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney. About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything. About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off. The lady could not beleive it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it." Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?" Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained. "Really, what do you take for that?" she asked. Ian replied, "Pepper."
Vote: has 76.85 % from 119 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, dirty, food, medical, time
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Vote: has 76.74 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food


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