The best food jokes

My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, political
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
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More jokes about: black humor, food
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Vote: has 74.89 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, food, life
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
Vote: has 74.84 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.
Vote: has 74.84 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cowboy, food, men
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Vote: has 74.76 % from 185 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, sport
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
Vote: has 74.71 % from 113 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, women
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, food, life
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
Vote: has 74.16 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, food, IT, marriage, romantic