The best food jokes

What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
Vote:
has 76.65 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, food, relationship
Customer to Waiter: "This is the third time I'm asking you, do you serve pigs in here?!" Waiter: "Sir Please sit down, this is the 100th time I telling you, we serve everyone here."
Vote:
has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, vulgar
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
Vote:
has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: food, lawyer
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Vote:
has 76.20 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: business, fat, food, kids, relationship
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Vote:
has 76.19 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, food
Whats long and Black?? The KFC line.
Vote:
has 76.17 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: food, racist
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London. The waiter tells them, "Excuse me if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease." The Texan says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"
Vote:
has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day. They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon. They notice she isn't wearing any panties. "Is it cooler without panties?" they ask. She says, "I don't know if it's cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon."
Vote:
has 76.02 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, food
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made all the appetisers herself and we have a caterer coming in to provide plenty of sandwiches and cakes for all of our guests." "I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you properly prepared spiritually?" "Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
Vote:
has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food, priest
Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.
Vote:
has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, time
<<<11121314
More jokes →
Page 11 of 71.