The best food jokes

Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, life
Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast? A: Mice Krispies.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, kitty
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Vote: has 75.92 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
Yo mamma is so fat, her diet pills say M & M.
Vote: has 75.71 % from 220 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Two thieves each sneak into a rich man's party. During dinner the thieves marveled at how even the cutlery was made of gold, and both decided they would try to steal some. The first thief quietly slipped a golden spoon into his pocket, unaware that the second thief had witnessed this crime. After dinner, the second thief comes up with a way to steal a golden spoon without suspicion being placed on him. He picks up a golden spoon identical to the first and holds it up in front of the party-goers explaining he wishes to show them a magic trick. "And now..." he speaks to the crowd and points towards the first thief, "I will put this spoon into my pocket, and remove it from this gentleman here's own pocket!"
Vote: has 75.70 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, food, money
A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs. The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!" She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine." Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." But the mother cuts him off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine." Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." And the mother cuts him off and says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine." But then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
Vote: has 75.57 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, dog, food, masturbation
Whats long and Black?? The KFC line.
Vote: has 75.29 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, racist
Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, food, political, Thanksgiving, time
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money