The best food jokes

Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Fry-days.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: easter, food
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Vote: has 74.89 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, food, life
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
Vote: has 74.84 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs. The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!" She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine." Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." But the mother cuts him off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine." Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." And the mother cuts him off and says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine." But then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
Vote: has 74.73 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, dog, food, masturbation
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
Vote: has 74.71 % from 113 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, food, IT, marriage, romantic
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Vote: has 74.45 % from 187 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, sport
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Vote: has 74.40 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, food
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Vote: has 74.36 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful!
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, technology
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food