The best food jokes

Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America? A: Throw a cookie into the street.
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, food, geography
Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know." Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone." Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, food, single
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Vote: has 74.89 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, food, life
A guy arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find his lover in bed with a young, handsome boy. Just as he was about to storm out of the house, his lover stopped him with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about:" "Driving home, I saw this young guy, looking poor and tired, I offered him a ride. He was hungry, so I brought him home and fed him some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. His shoes were worn out so I gave him a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. He was cold so I gave him that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you. His trousers were worn out so I gave him a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore. Then as he was about to leave the house, he paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your lover doesn't use anymore?' "And so, here we are!"
Vote: has 74.87 % from 467 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: driving, food, gay, sex
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
Vote: has 74.84 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, money
Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!
Vote: has 74.72 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food
Two thieves each sneak into a rich man's party. During dinner the thieves marveled at how even the cutlery was made of gold, and both decided they would try to steal some. The first thief quietly slipped a golden spoon into his pocket, unaware that the second thief had witnessed this crime. After dinner, the second thief comes up with a way to steal a golden spoon without suspicion being placed on him. He picks up a golden spoon identical to the first and holds it up in front of the party-goers explaining he wishes to show them a magic trick. "And now..." he speaks to the crowd and points towards the first thief, "I will put this spoon into my pocket, and remove it from this gentleman here's own pocket!"
Vote: has 74.60 % from 135 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, food, money
First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?" Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food
Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
Vote: has 74.20 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex


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