The best food jokes

Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, time
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: bird, Christmas, death, food, Thanksgiving
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney. About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything. About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off. The lady could not beleive it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it." Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?" Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained. "Really, what do you take for that?" she asked. Ian replied, "Pepper."
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has 75.83 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, food, medical, time
Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day. They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon. They notice she isn't wearing any panties. "Is it cooler without panties?" they ask. She says, "I don't know if it's cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon."
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has 75.81 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, food
Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!
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has 75.77 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
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has 75.62 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, food
A Rolls Royce pulls up in to an expensive restaurant. A sheik emerges, followed by a harem of women and a rooster. After ordering for himself and his harem, the sheik requests a basket of apples for the rooster. The rooster proceeds to eats three baskets of apples. The waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster. The sheik explains, "A genie granted me three wishes. My first wish was to have an endless supply of money. My second wish was to have many beautiful women. And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock."
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, food, life, money, women
Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America? A: Throw a cookie into the street.
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, geography
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
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has 75.60 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, food, life, music
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