The best food jokes

Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America? A: Throw a cookie into the street.
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, food, geography
Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know." Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone." Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, food, single
Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it? A: Cucumber, dirty people.
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, food
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Vote: has 74.89 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, food, life
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
Vote: has 74.84 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, money
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food
This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney. About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything. About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off. The lady could not beleive it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it." Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?" Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained. "Really, what do you take for that?" she asked. Ian replied, "Pepper."
Vote: has 74.69 % from 122 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, dirty, food, medical, time
Two thieves each sneak into a rich man's party. During dinner the thieves marveled at how even the cutlery was made of gold, and both decided they would try to steal some. The first thief quietly slipped a golden spoon into his pocket, unaware that the second thief had witnessed this crime. After dinner, the second thief comes up with a way to steal a golden spoon without suspicion being placed on him. He picks up a golden spoon identical to the first and holds it up in front of the party-goers explaining he wishes to show them a magic trick. "And now..." he speaks to the crowd and points towards the first thief, "I will put this spoon into my pocket, and remove it from this gentleman here's own pocket!"
Vote: has 74.60 % from 135 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, food, money
Yo mama so ugly that her mom only fed her with a sling shot.
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, mean, ugly, Yo mama
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Vote: has 74.36 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food


<<<13141516
More jokes →
Page 13 of 69.