The best food jokes

Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions? A: Tear gas.
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has 74.15 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made all the appetisers herself and we have a caterer coming in to provide plenty of sandwiches and cakes for all of our guests." "I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you properly prepared spiritually?" "Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food, priest
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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has 74.09 % from 282 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Whats long and Black?? The KFC line.
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has 74.02 % from 406 votes. More jokes about: food, racist
Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
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has 74.01 % from 521 votes. More jokes about: food, sex, work
"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?" "Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!" The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife. So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!" The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."
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has 73.90 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, sex, wife
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
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has 73.80 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: family, food, management, sport, war
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
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has 73.73 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
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has 73.73 % from 207 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Q: What is the chemical formula for "banana"? A: BaNa2
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has 73.59 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, food, nerd
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