The best food jokes

Every time I say that I'm ready to order in a restaurant, what I really mean is that I'm not ready but the panic will help me make a decision.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, food, time
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America? A: Throw a cookie into the street.
Vote: has 74.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, geography
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Vote: has 74.89 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, food, life
Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful!
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, technology
A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter." Responses: American: "Keep trying!" Briton: "Change Doctor!" Aussie: "Follow a special diet." Indian: "Practice yoga!" Pinoy: "Let me try!"
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, kids
Once there was a bartender who claimed he was the strongest man on earth, he could squeeze every drop of juice out of a lemon and he bet $10,000 that no one could squeeze anymore out of a lemon he has squeezed People came in from all over the country, body builders, weight lifters, wrestlers, or anyone that wanted to try. But no one could squeeze anymore juice out of the lemons. Then one day a little nerdy looking guy walks in and everyone laughs at him when they hear he is there to try to squeeze a lemon. So the bartender squeezes a lemon into a cup an hands him what is left over. Then the guy squeezes out 6 more drops of juice, and everyone is amazed! "What do you do for a living?" they would ask, "Are you a weight lifter, a body builder?" "No", he replied. "I work for the IRS."
Vote: has 74.78 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bartender, food, money, work
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
Vote: has 74.78 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, redneck
A desperate man goes to the doctor because he can't get a hard-on. He says " Doc I can't live without sex, I need the use of my equipment back!! " The Doc says " There is an experimental procedure where the mucles of a baby elephants' trunk are removed and implanted in your penis, this gives you the full use of your penis." Great I'll do it. Some time after the procedure, the man is at dinner with his date. He feels a rustle in his pants. So he just ignored it. It happens again. So he figured it just needed some air. So he unzips his pants to let it out. The problem seemed to go away until his penis reached up onto the table, grabbed a roll and disapeared back under the table. His date stared in complete awe and said " Can you do that again". He said " Probally but I don't think I could fit another roll up my ass."
Vote: has 74.73 % from 341 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, doctor, elephant, food, sex
Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!
Vote: has 74.72 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food