The best food jokes

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Vote: has 74.89 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

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What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
Vote: has 74.84 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

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Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful!
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, technology
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Vote: has 74.78 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
Vote: has 74.73 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, science
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating doughnuts?"
Vote: has 74.72 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, food
Yo mamma is so fat when she tried to go to McDonald's she tripped over Wendy's and landed on Burger King.
Vote: has 74.69 % from 202 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
Vote: has 74.60 % from 117 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, women
A desperate man goes to the doctor because he can't get a hard-on. He says " Doc I can't live without sex, I need the use of my equipment back!! " The Doc says " There is an experimental procedure where the mucles of a baby elephants' trunk are removed and implanted in your penis, this gives you the full use of your penis." Great I'll do it. Some time after the procedure, the man is at dinner with his date. He feels a rustle in his pants. So he just ignored it. It happens again. So he figured it just needed some air. So he unzips his pants to let it out. The problem seemed to go away until his penis reached up onto the table, grabbed a roll and disapeared back under the table. His date stared in complete awe and said " Can you do that again". He said " Probally but I don't think I could fit another roll up my ass."
Vote: has 74.48 % from 329 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, doctor, elephant, food, sex
Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? A: The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
Vote: has 74.45 % from 187 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, sport