The best food jokes

Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. "I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one. "That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
Vote: has 77.64 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
Vote: has 77.59 % from 97 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, food, kids, sex
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Vote: has 77.53 % from 70 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, fat, food, kids, relationship
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, Halloween, ugly, wife
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, marriage, mean
Whats long and Black?? The KFC line.
Vote: has 77.49 % from 238 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, racist
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?" "He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
Vote: has 77.20 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, life
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
Vote: has 77.03 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, lawyer
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: democrat, food, money, political
A Rolls Royce pulls up in to an expensive restaurant. A sheik emerges, followed by a harem of women and a rooster. After ordering for himself and his harem, the sheik requests a basket of apples for the rooster. The rooster proceeds to eats three baskets of apples. The waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster. The sheik explains, "A genie granted me three wishes. My first wish was to have an endless supply of money. My second wish was to have many beautiful women. And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock."
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, food, life, money, women