The best food jokes

Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Penny then what will you get?" "3 new Girlfriends!"
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has 78.15 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: food, relationship, school, teacher
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
An apple, a banana and a penis got into an argument one day. The apple says sadly "I have the worst life ever. People take one bite of me and throw me on the ground." The banana says "You think thats bad? People take off my clothes, eat my insides and leave my clothes on the floor." The penis laughs. "You guys have it easy. You try having people sticking you in dark, wet caves, putting bags over your head, messaging you for hours and making you do push-ups until you throw up!"
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has 78.03 % from 433 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
Yo mama so ugly that her mom only fed her with a sling shot.
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: food, mean, ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
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has 77.99 % from 632 votes. More jokes about: age, food, insulting, Yo mama
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
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has 77.95 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, food, kids, sex
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time, work
Yo mamma is so fat, her diet pills say M & M.
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has 77.74 % from 359 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, food, gym
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?" "He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: food, life