The best food jokes

Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. "I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one. "That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
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has 78.00 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
Yo mamma is so fat, her diet pills say M & M.
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has 77.92 % from 367 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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has 77.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Deer Hunter. A sportsman, and father of 3 sons, was anxious to share his latest kill with his family for Sunday dinner. He didn't want his sons to refuse tasting the delicious venison, so he sat the boys down to dinner without telling them what the meat was they were about to eat. "Oh come on Dad," said the oldest son. "What is this meat?" "Just taste it," said the father, "You will love it." The boys eyed each other nervously and put a piece of the meat on their forks. "Give us a little hint.", pleaded the second son. "Only if you take a bite.", said the father. As each boy took a cautious bite of the venison, the father continued, "Let me think, your mother calls me this from time to time." The oldest boy shouted, "Spit it out boys, it's asshole!"
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has 77.84 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, food, hunting, kids
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time, work
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: food, hipster
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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has 77.64 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, love, men
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
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has 77.61 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful!
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has 77.53 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: food, life, technology
A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice breasts. 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also. 10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free. 10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator. 10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, food, life, old people