The best food jokes

Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs. The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!" She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine." Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." But the mother cuts him off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine." Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." And the mother cuts him off and says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine." But then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
Vote: has 74.40 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, dog, food, masturbation
Yo mamma is so fat when she tried to go to McDonald's she tripped over Wendy's and landed on Burger King.
Vote: has 74.37 % from 221 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
Vote: has 74.33 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, food, racist
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, travel
Sweet candies are nice to eat, sweet words are easy to say, but sweet people are hard to find. Oh my God! How did you find me?
Vote: has 74.20 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, food
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. "I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one. "That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
Vote: has 74.15 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, food, romantic
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
Vote: has 74.00 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, women