The best food jokes

If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
A desperate man goes to the doctor because he can't get a hard-on. He says " Doc I can't live without sex, I need the use of my equipment back!! " The Doc says " There is an experimental procedure where the mucles of a baby elephants' trunk are removed and implanted in your penis, this gives you the full use of your penis." Great I'll do it. Some time after the procedure, the man is at dinner with his date. He feels a rustle in his pants. So he just ignored it. It happens again. So he figured it just needed some air. So he unzips his pants to let it out. The problem seemed to go away until his penis reached up onto the table, grabbed a roll and disapeared back under the table. His date stared in complete awe and said " Can you do that again". He said " Probally but I don't think I could fit another roll up my ass."
Vote: has 74.02 % from 323 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, doctor, elephant, food, sex
Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
Vote: has 74.00 % from 447 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, sex, work
What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, food
Whats long and Black?? The KFC line.
Vote: has 73.75 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, racist
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 73.68 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
Vote: has 73.56 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work
A guy arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find his lover in bed with a young, handsome boy. Just as he was about to storm out of the house, his lover stopped him with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about:" "Driving home, I saw this young guy, looking poor and tired, I offered him a ride. He was hungry, so I brought him home and fed him some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. His shoes were worn out so I gave him a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. He was cold so I gave him that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn't suit you. His trousers were worn out so I gave him a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore. Then as he was about to leave the house, he paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your lover doesn't use anymore?' "And so, here we are!"
Vote: has 73.55 % from 423 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: driving, food, gay, sex
Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America? A: Throw a cookie into the street.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, geography
Los Angeles Homeless... Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, work