The best food jokes

Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.
Vote: has 74.15 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, food, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
Vote: has 74.01 % from 476 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, sex, work
Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Vote: has 73.99 % from 175 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made all the appetisers herself and we have a caterer coming in to provide plenty of sandwiches and cakes for all of our guests." "I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you properly prepared spiritually?" "Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food, priest
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce." She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
Vote: has 73.68 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, animal, food, life, travel
A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter." Responses: American: "Keep trying!" Briton: "Change Doctor!" Aussie: "Follow a special diet." Indian: "Practice yoga!" Pinoy: "Let me try!"
Vote: has 73.56 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, kids
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London. The waiter tells them, "Excuse me if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease." The Texan says, "What's a shortage?" The Russian says, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, life
Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast? A: Mice Krispies.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, kitty
I love in horror movies how the person yells out "Hello?!" as if the killer is gonna say "Yeah I'm in the kitchen, want a sandwich?"
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, death, food


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