An aging man lived alone in Ireland.
His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden.
The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply.
"For Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!
At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.
Confused the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes." 
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
The world is like a jar of jelly beans.
Everybody hates the black ones.
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A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries.
After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here."
"At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
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Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru.
There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window.
"We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded.
I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich.
"I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job?
A: He was caught beating his meat.
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob?
A: The blowjob.
You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
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Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals?
A: He went down really well!
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