The best food jokes

An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
Vote: has 71.72 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work
Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Sweet candies are nice to eat, sweet words are easy to say, but sweet people are hard to find. Oh my God! How did you find me?
Vote: has 71.53 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: flirt, food
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
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More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
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Yo' Mama is so fat, her stair master has a dinner tray attached.
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More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cop, food, lawyer
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: customer service, food, phone, time, work
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: flirt, food, romantic, time
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
Vote: has 71.44 % from 147 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food, wife


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