The best food jokes

Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
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has 70.64 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, wife
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
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has 70.59 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest. Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger. The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit. Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen. "That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: food, health, life
I was eating and enjoying my food when a man entered into the restaurant where i was eating with a brief case. I guess he is a politician cause his dressing and pot belly portrays it. He walked and sat down as every body looked at him. Suddenly a woman came to him and started crying. The woman knelt down and told him that her children die of hunger since her husband died. This man opened the brief case and gave this woman five thousand dollars. The woman jumped up and left the scene in happiness. I was still watching when another man started crying and came to him. He knelt down and begged him that he need a money to establish a business. This man brought out three hundred thousand dollars cheque and gave it to this man. This time, i started murmuring and practicing on the lie i will blow to have my own national cake. I started crying and came to the man. Immediately i knelt down, I heard "Cut! cut! cut!". I turned and saw the laughing director of the movie. Shame almost killed me.
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has 70.33 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: food, money, political
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
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has 70.18 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, food, racist
Yo momma so stupid she thought that doctor pepper could heal her.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, health, stupid, Yo mama
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
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has 70.17 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. "For Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS! At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, food, life, prison
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
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has 69.96 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: food, money
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