The best food jokes

A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room. In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry. "I am Gina the Great," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!" With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise. The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish. Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. "I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need." With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone. The floor nurse went next. "I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts." With a puff of smoke, she too was gone. "Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady. The charge nurse said, "I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break."
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, genie, nurse, work
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: bar, food, life
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food
A couple goes to Mexico City on vacation and eats at a famous local restaurant. The waiter tells them they have a delicious special every Sunday, so the couple orders the special. With great fanfare, the waiter brings out a large silver serving platter with two huge steaming rounds of meat, juices dripping. It smells delicious and tastes even better. The couple is delighted with their meal, and the husband asks the waiter what fabulous meat was in the dish. "Senor," he explains, "each Saturday night, we have the bullfights, and that was the bull's balls you ate." The couple is a bit taken aback by what they have just eaten, but it was delicious, so they get over it. Six months later, the couple returns to Mexico City and decides to go to the same restaurant. Feeling adventuresome, they order the same dish. Once again, with great fanfare, the waiter brings out the huge silver serving dish and places it on the table. But this time, there are two tiny pieces of meat, barely enough for one. The man says, "Excuse me, but the last time we were here and ordered this dish, it was huge, more than enough for two. Why is this portion so small?" The waiter smiles and replies, "Well, you see, senor, sometimes the bull wins!"
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has 71.22 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, holiday, husband, mexican
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Yo' mama's breath so nasty, I don't know whether to give her Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
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has 71.07 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: food, Yo mama
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
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has 71.00 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America? A: Throw a cookie into the street.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, geography
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: flirt, food, romantic, time
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
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