The best food jokes

Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
Vote: has 71.40 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Yo' mama's breath so nasty, I don't know whether to give her Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
Vote: has 71.35 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, Yo mama
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans? A: The black ones steal your watch.
Vote: has 71.29 % from 265 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, food, racist
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
Vote: has 71.15 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dog, ethnic, food
Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
Vote: has 70.90 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, beer, food, military
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He’s a martyr now though" mum confides. "Oh, so sad, dear" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me…" says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
Vote: has 70.76 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal, black humor, food
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
Vote: has 70.65 % from 192 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, blonde, food, life
Q: Did you hear about the new black breakfast cereal? A: It's called "Nuttin' Bitch!"
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, food, racist
Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.
Vote: has 70.41 % from 115 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, political, Yo mama
My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food