My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"