Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast? A: Mice Krispies.
Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light-bulb? A: Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.