The best food jokes

My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food
When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
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More jokes about: food, life
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
Vote: has 70.39 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, life, sex
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
Vote: has 70.32 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, food, racist
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest. Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger. The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit. Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen. "That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, health, life
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Why did the potato cross the road? He saw a fork up ahead.
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More jokes about: food, travel