The best food jokes

The world is like a jar of jelly beans. Everybody hates the black ones.
Vote: has 70.75 % from 128 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, food, racist
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
Vote: has 70.70 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women
Yo' mama's breath so nasty, I don't know whether to give her Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
Vote: has 70.65 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, Yo mama
Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.
Vote: has 70.62 % from 112 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, political, Yo mama
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans... Walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group. "You can't come in here without a Thai."
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, food
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
Vote: has 70.42 % from 168 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, blonde, food, life
My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food
When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food