The best food jokes

Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!" The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, ugly, vulgar, wife
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish, food
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, lawyer
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
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has 71.16 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, redneck
Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
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has 71.09 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, wife
A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room. In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry. "I am Gina the Great," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!" With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise. The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish. Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. "I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need." With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone. The floor nurse went next. "I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts." With a puff of smoke, she too was gone. "Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady. The charge nurse said, "I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, genie, nurse, work
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans? A: The black ones steal your watch.
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has 70.74 % from 352 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, racist
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