Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
A professor and a doctor both love the same girl. Each one tries to get rid of the other. Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week. Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there. When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.