Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans? A: The black ones steal your watch.
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
Q: What type of bees make milk? A: Boo-bees.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when I asked what was for dinner, she took off her shoe and said, "Corns."
Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light-bulb? A: Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.