The best food jokes

On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: family, food, management, sport, war
What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, food
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
has 70.38 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
has 70.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: food, military
A man and his wife go to the doctor to see how they could improve their sex life. The doctor recommends Viagra. They come back and see him in a couple of weeks. The doctor says "how was the Viagra?" The wife says "great I love it." Husband says "I like it but it has some side effects, we're bared from McDonald's for life."
has 69.96 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, sex, viagra
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
has 69.96 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?" Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: food, little Johnny, school, teacher
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: food
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, food
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