The best food jokes

Sweet candies are nice to eat, sweet words are easy to say, but sweet people are hard to find. Oh my God! How did you find me?
Vote: has 70.45 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
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Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
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A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
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If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
Vote: has 70.33 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Vote: has 70.32 % from 64 votes. Send joke:
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While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
Vote: has 70.32 % from 64 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
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