The best food jokes

Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, god, life
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans... Walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group. "You can't come in here without a Thai."
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, food
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
Vote: has 69.28 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work
Cletus Cletus goes to work and sees that one of his co-workers has a thermos. He asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." Cletus was amazed and when he got home immediately went out and bought one. The next day he goes to work and is proud that he has this wonderful object. The same co-worker realizes he has a thermos and says, "What do you have in it?" He says, "Soup and ice cream!"
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, work
When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, kids, relationship, teacher, time
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
Vote: has 69.05 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, money
The world is like a jar of jelly beans. Everybody hates the black ones.
Vote: has 68.90 % from 138 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, food, racist
Little Johnny was always late for school. When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle. Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket. Next day Johnny was on time. The teacher had history class. "What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student. "Asians", said the student. "What are the people in Africa called". "Africans" said the student. Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean." To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, food, little Johnny, school, teacher