Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.
Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it? A: Cucumber, dirty people.
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Q: What type of bees make milk? A: Boo-bees.
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese. The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats. She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?" An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."