The best food jokes

Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast? A: Mice Krispies.
Vote:
has 71.20 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: food, kitty
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
Vote:
has 71.12 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Vote:
has 71.07 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, food, gym
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
Vote:
has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
My wife's cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
Vote:
has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: food, mean, religious, wife
Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
Vote:
has 70.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, food, political, Thanksgiving, time
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
Vote:
has 70.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, love, men
I was eating and enjoying my food when a man entered into the restaurant where i was eating with a brief case. I guess he is a politician cause his dressing and pot belly portrays it. He walked and sat down as every body looked at him. Suddenly a woman came to him and started crying. The woman knelt down and told him that her children die of hunger since her husband died. This man opened the brief case and gave this woman five thousand dollars. The woman jumped up and left the scene in happiness. I was still watching when another man started crying and came to him. He knelt down and begged him that he need a money to establish a business. This man brought out three hundred thousand dollars cheque and gave it to this man. This time, i started murmuring and practicing on the lie i will blow to have my own national cake. I started crying and came to the man. Immediately i knelt down, I heard "Cut! cut! cut!". I turned and saw the laughing director of the movie. Shame almost killed me.
Vote:
has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: food, money, political
A blonde enters a library. She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola." The librarian says "Ma'am this is library." So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
Vote:
has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde, business, food, stupid
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
Vote:
has 70.55 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital
<<<17181920
More jokes →
Page 17 of 72.