The best food jokes

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops? A: So they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, communication, food, travel, work
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bird, Christmas, death, food, Thanksgiving
"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?" "Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!" The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife. So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!" The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."
Vote: has 72.57 % from 218 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, kids, sex, wife
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
Vote: has 71.97 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work
Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
Vote: has 71.95 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, beer, food, military
Q: What do you call fake spaghetti? A: "I'm pasta."
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, food
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food, life
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
Vote: has 71.76 % from 258 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, blonde, food, life


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