The best food jokes

Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable? A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. "For Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS! At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
has 73.41 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, food, life, prison
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
has 73.22 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: food, lawyer
Yo mamma is so fat when she tried to go to McDonald's she tripped over Wendy's and landed on Burger King.
has 73.11 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
has 72.96 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, women
"Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?" "Because I helped her."  "But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?" "I helped her eat her gummy bears."
has 72.83 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, little Johnny
"Excuse me," he says to her, "do we know each other?" "Sure," she answers, "one of my children is yours!" The guy confused, thinks and suddenly remembers the only time he cheated his wife. So he asks her: "Were you that stripper invited at a bachelor party at the suburbs last spring and we ended up having wild sex in the kitchen? You had manacled my hands and you cramed a carrot in my a…!" The woman frowned answers: "No, I am your son’s philologist..."
has 72.81 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, sex, wife
The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
has 72.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, life
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