The best food jokes

This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench in front of a large pond. On the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and says, "I could really go for an ice cream cone." Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one." Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down." Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?" Wife says, "Get me a strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles." Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember. Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns. The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost?" The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted." The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries! Wife says, "I knew you you should have written the order down." Hubby says, "What do you mean - every thing is there." To which the wife replies, "No, it's not... look, you forgot the pickles!"
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, memory, old people, time
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. "I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one. "That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
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has 71.36 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
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has 71.35 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, redneck
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
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has 71.31 % from 333 votes. More jokes about: asian, blonde, food, life
Yo' mama's breath so nasty, I don't know whether to give her Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
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has 71.27 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: food, Yo mama
Yo Momma's so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border!
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
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has 70.84 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: baby, food
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
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has 70.64 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, wife
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: flirt, food, romantic, time
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