The best food jokes

Q: How do you find how many fat people are in America? A: Throw a cookie into the street.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, geography
I was eating and enjoying my food when a man entered into the restaurant where i was eating with a brief case. I guess he is a politician cause his dressing and pot belly portrays it. He walked and sat down as every body looked at him. Suddenly a woman came to him and started crying. The woman knelt down and told him that her children die of hunger since her husband died. This man opened the brief case and gave this woman five thousand dollars. The woman jumped up and left the scene in happiness. I was still watching when another man started crying and came to him. He knelt down and begged him that he need a money to establish a business. This man brought out three hundred thousand dollars cheque and gave it to this man. This time, i started murmuring and practicing on the lie i will blow to have my own national cake. I started crying and came to the man. Immediately i knelt down, I heard "Cut! cut! cut!". I turned and saw the laughing director of the movie. Shame almost killed me.
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has 71.56 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: food, money, political
Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, love, men
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
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has 71.36 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, redneck
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
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has 71.29 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: bar, food, life
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
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has 71.22 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, food, life, music
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
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has 71.10 % from 323 votes. More jokes about: asian, blonde, food, life
Yo Momma's so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border!
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
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