Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine.
Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick.
Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Two cannibals were having their dinner.
One said to the other "I don't like your friend."
The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
Vote:
Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.
Vote:
Yo mama so ugly that her mom only fed her with a sling shot.
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach.
But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
Vote:
Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day?
A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
I was eating and enjoying my food when a man entered into the restaurant where i was eating with a brief case.
I guess he is a politician cause his dressing and pot belly portrays it.
He walked and sat down as every body looked at him.
Suddenly a woman came to him and started crying.
The woman knelt down and told him that her children die of hunger since her husband died.
This man opened the brief case and gave this woman five thousand dollars.
The woman jumped up and left the scene in happiness.
I was still watching when another man started crying and came to him. He knelt down and begged him that he need a money to establish a business.
This man brought out three hundred thousand dollars cheque and gave it to this man.
This time, i started murmuring and practicing on the lie i will blow to have my own national cake.
I started crying and came to the man. Immediately i knelt down, I heard "Cut! cut! cut!".
I turned and saw the laughing director of the movie.
Shame almost killed me.
A blonde enters a library.
She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
The librarian says "Ma'am this is library."
So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."