The best food jokes

While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
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More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, life, sex
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
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More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when I asked what was for dinner, she took off her shoe and said, "Corns."
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More jokes about: food, Yo mama
Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows.
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More jokes about: animal, food
Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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More jokes about: black humor, dog, ethnic, food
The world is like a jar of jelly beans. Everybody hates the black ones.
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More jokes about: black people, food, racist
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food


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