Why did the tomato turn red?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen.
While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza.
The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt.
As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest.
Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger.
The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit.
Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen.
"That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
My friend's dad went to Hungary.
I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda?
A berry bubbly bunny.
"Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
"I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common?
A: They are both baked chickens.
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea.
They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.