An old man and a young man work together in an office.
The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts.
One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime.
"Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies.
"Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
Yo Momma's so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border!
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
A: The black ones steal your watch.
Vote:
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland.
On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese.
The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples.
As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats.
She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?"
An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs!
Vote:
Q: What type of bees make milk?
A: Boo-bees.
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper.
"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper!" came the reply
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock?
It repeated on him.