A tomato walks into work and a potato says:
"Hello, Tomatoe..."
He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"?
"Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"
Vote:
Sweet candies are nice to eat, sweet words are easy to say, but sweet people are hard to find.
Oh my God!
How did you find me?
The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch.
With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there.
"Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father.
"But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits.
"Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her.
And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Vote:
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"
Vote:
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Vote:
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
A: The black ones steal your watch.
Vote:
Yo' mama's breath so nasty, I don't know whether to give her Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
The world is like a jar of jelly beans.
Everybody hates the black ones.
Vote:
Are your legs made of Nutella?
Because I'd love to spread them!