The best food jokes

The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water. I decided to tell the waitress. "This soup is awful," I said. "I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
Yo momma so stupid she thought that doctor pepper could heal her.
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, health, stupid, Yo mama
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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has 69.55 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dog, ethnic, food
Yo Momma's so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border!
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
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has 69.29 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: food, life, racist
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common? There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, music, women
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
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has 68.73 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob. "Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work." "Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday." So I call him on his cell. "What gives, bro,?" I ask. "Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes." I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer." "Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, friendship, time, work
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