The best food jokes

Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, food, political, Thanksgiving, time
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup." Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza: Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread" Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!" Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, stupid, technology, time
First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
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has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: food, military
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital
Yo' Mama is so fat, her stair master has a dinner tray attached.
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!" The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, ugly, vulgar, wife
Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light-bulb? A: Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, light bulb, work
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when I asked what was for dinner, she took off her shoe and said, "Corns."
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: food, Yo mama
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