Men are like... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman:
- Do you have any bananas?
- No,I don't. ( says the barman)
- Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey)
- No,I have not got any bananas!
- Do you have any bananas?
- If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter!
- Do you have any nails?
- No,I don't.
- Do you have any bananas?
A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter."
Responses:
American: "Keep trying!"
Briton: "Change Doctor!"
Aussie: "Follow a special diet."
Indian: "Practice yoga!"
Pinoy: "Let me try!"
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes?
The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril.
He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well."
The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks?
A: The only good one killed himself.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she uses bacon as bandages.
After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress.
"About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?"
"Neither," she said. "It's a fish."
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