Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook? She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!
Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? A: Why, shortbread of course!