The best food jokes

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
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has 67.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
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has 67.67 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
*Girl is crying* Dad: Why you crying? Girl: My boyfriend dumped me! Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him! Dad: I didn't Girl: Where did you go? Dad: To get you icecream :D Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?! Dad: So I could get it for free!
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has 67.46 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, women
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: food, friendship, internet, IT, technology
A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter." Responses: American: "Keep trying!" Briton: "Change Doctor!" Aussie: "Follow a special diet." Indian: "Practice yoga!" Pinoy: "Let me try!"
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, kids
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: food
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He’s a martyr now though" mum confides. "Oh, so sad, dear" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me…" says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
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has 67.13 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, black humor, food
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese. The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats. She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?" An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, food, geography, old people, travel
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