The best food jokes

Q: What do you call fake spaghetti? A: "I'm pasta."
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: communication, food
Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi. They call it the "fullacrapuccino".
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has 66.69 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: business, customer service, democrat, food, political
The world is like a jar of jelly beans. Everybody hates the black ones.
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has 66.68 % from 253 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, racist
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
A preacher's wife goes to the butcher. The butcher asks if she'd like to try some damn ham. The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Ham" is the brand name of the meat and shows her the packaging with the beaver and dam logo. That night, the preacher asks, "What's for dinner?" His wife says she bought some damn ham from the butcher. The preacher scolds his wife for using such language in their home. She explains the "Dam Ham brand name and their logo. At the dinner table, the preacher asks his 16-year-old son to pass him the "Dam Ham." The son replies, "I'll pass the damn ham if you pass me the muthaf**kin' mashed potatoes."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: food, life, wife
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self? A: Beef stroganoff.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, game
Your theeth are so yellow when you opend the popcorn packet it said "We are family."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: family, food, insulting
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, food, women
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