The best food jokes

Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night? A: They don't want to get "beat up".
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: easter, food, party
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, food, insulting, Yo mama
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, time
Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman: - Do you have any bananas? - No,I don't. ( says the barman) - Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey) - No,I have not got any bananas! - Do you have any bananas? - If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter! - Do you have any nails? - No,I don't. - Do you have any bananas?
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, food
One day, little Suzie was strolling around the house and just happened to pass by her sister’s room. She heard her sister say on the phone to her boy friend. “Your such an as***!” and she hung up. Suzie asked what as*** had meant and her sister sayin “Uh… it means… uhh.. boyfriend!”. Suzie is delighted to hear a new nice word. Then,She was walking past the bathroom where her dad was shaving. Her dad had cut himself and yelled “SHIT!” Then turniing around saw little Suzie ask what shit means. Dad, being quite shocked answered “It uhh.. It.. It means shaving cream.” Then, Suzie walked downstairs to help her mom with the dinner turkey. Suzie’s dad’s boss was coming to dinner tonight. When Suzie went in the kitchen, her mom accidently cut herself yelled”F***k!”. Suzie asked what f***k meant and mom replied ” it..it..it uummm…it means cut… yeah, cut.” Just as mom said that, the doorbell rang and asked Suzie to go and get it. When Suzie opened the door, her dad’s boss was standing there. Boss asked” Well hello young lady! Can I ask where your family is? ”Then Suzie said” Well, my sister’s upstairs talking to her as*** on the phone, my dad’s in the bathroom wiping the shit off his face and my mom’s in the kitchen f***g the turkey!”
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, food, kids, phone
Yo' Mama is so ghetto, her wedding cake was made of cornbread.
Vote: has 66.94 % from 126 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, wedding, Yo mama
First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
Vote: has 66.88 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, military
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when I asked what was for dinner, she took off her shoe and said, "Corns."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, Yo mama