The best food jokes

Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, food
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection. Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread. So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread. The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it." Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
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has 64.50 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, food, jewish
What do you call a person in china who doesn't eat dog? A tourist.
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has 64.48 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, food, racist
First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?" Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 64.26 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself in safeway and starved to death.
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: death, food, stupid, Yo mama
Employee: "Hi welcome to McDonald's what can I get you today." Little Johnny: "Can I get some McWater, A McNumber10, and a McCoke." Employee: "Sir you know you don't have to put Mc in front of anything you order." Little Johnny: "Ok I just really like Donald's." Employee: "Sir its McDonald's." Little Johnny: "Ma'am you don't have to put Mc in front of everything."
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has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, food, little Johnny
Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."
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has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: food, money
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