Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
Chuck Norris has his own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
The secret ingredient in the KFC recipe is Chuck Norris' approval.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.