What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
I was looking at the pies offered by a nearby café. They had cherry, apple, berry, peach, and Herman's. "What type of pie is Herman's?" I asked the waiter. "Apple," he said. "Then why is it called Herman's pie?" "Because Herman called in to reserve it."
Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions? A: Tear gas.
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"