The best food jokes

Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, life
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: food
A preacher's wife goes to the butcher. The butcher asks if she'd like to try some damn ham. The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Ham" is the brand name of the meat and shows her the packaging with the beaver and dam logo. That night, the preacher asks, "What's for dinner?" His wife says she bought some damn ham from the butcher. The preacher scolds his wife for using such language in their home. She explains the "Dam Ham brand name and their logo. At the dinner table, the preacher asks his 16-year-old son to pass him the "Dam Ham." The son replies, "I'll pass the damn ham if you pass me the muthaf**kin' mashed potatoes."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: food, life, wife
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
A man and his wife go to the doctor to see how they could improve their sex life. The doctor recommends Viagra. They come back and see him in a couple of weeks. The doctor says "how was the Viagra?" The wife says "great I love it." Husband says "I like it but it has some side effects, we're bared from McDonald's for life."
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, sex, viagra
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" came the reply
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self? A: Beef stroganoff.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, game
I'm not saying my wife is ugly... but on Halloween, she went to tell the neighbors to turn their TV down and they gave her some candy.
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: food, Halloween, ugly, wife
Three guys are stranded on a island; black guy, white guy, and a Mexican. They come across a Indian tribe, the chief said" go into the forest and pick a fruit and bring it back. We are going to shove it up your ass, if you scream we will cut off your head". The white guy goes in and brings back a banana they shove it up his ass he screamed soo they cut off his head. The Mexican goes in and comes back with a grape they shove it up his ass he screams. They all look at his and ask" why you scream?" The Mexican says" because the black guy is coming back with a watermelon.
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has 66.34 % from 295 votes. More jokes about: black people, desert island, food, mexican, racist
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