The best food jokes

Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam!
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, food, women
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
Vote: has 69.93 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
Vote: has 69.88 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water. I decided to tell the waitress. "This soup is awful," I said. "I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, customer service, food
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief. But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.” “What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously. “Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully. “That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.” “Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened. “It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”
Vote: has 69.39 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, food, life, sex
Cletus Cletus goes to work and sees that one of his co-workers has a thermos. He asks him what it does and the fellow co-worker responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." Cletus was amazed and when he got home immediately went out and bought one. The next day he goes to work and is proud that he has this wonderful object. The same co-worker realizes he has a thermos and says, "What do you have in it?" He says, "Soup and ice cream!"
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, work
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, money
What do you call a baby potato? A small fry.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, food