Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? A: Why, shortbread of course!
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self? A: Beef stroganoff.
Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Yo' Mama is like a bag of chips: Fri-to-lay.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night? A: They don't want to get "beat up".