Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?"
And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
The world is like a jar of jelly beans.
Everybody hates the black ones.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal."
Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris put corns in the Milky Way and eat them at his breakfast.
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If it were true that you are what you eat.
Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda?
A berry bubbly bunny.
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.
A random communist leader hears about a man making jokes about him.
He organizes a feast and calls the man.
Leader: "This is how all meals will look in the future!"
Man: (looks for a few seconds at the leader then says): "I thought I was the one around with the jokes."
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