The best food jokes

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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has 67.11 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dog, ethnic, food
The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: food, god, husband, kids, life
A blonde enters a library. She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola." The librarian says "Ma'am this is library." So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde, business, food, stupid
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese. The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats. She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?" An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, food, geography, old people, travel
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection. Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread. So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread. The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it." Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
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has 66.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, food, jewish
Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: age, food, insulting, Yo mama
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, life
Yo' Mama is so fat, her stair master has a dinner tray attached.
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Hey girl, your body reminds me of Mcdonalds, because I'm loving it!
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has 66.76 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: beauty, flirt, food, love
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
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