Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when I asked what was for dinner, she took off her shoe and said, "Corns."
Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100. So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?." The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?" Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
Three guys are stranded on a island; black guy, white guy, and a Mexican. They come across a Indian tribe, the chief said" go into the forest and pick a fruit and bring it back. We are going to shove it up your ass, if you scream we will cut off your head". The white guy goes in and brings back a banana they shove it up his ass he screamed soo they cut off his head. The Mexican goes in and comes back with a grape they shove it up his ass he screams. They all look at his and ask" why you scream?" The Mexican says" because the black guy is coming back with a watermelon.