Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
Why did the potato cross the road? He saw a fork up ahead.
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when I asked what was for dinner, she took off her shoe and said, "Corns."
Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100. So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?." The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
A blonde enters a library. She goes to the counter and says "I'll like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola." The librarian says "Ma'am this is library." So the blonde leans in and whispers "I'd like a cheeseburger, fries, and a cola."