The best food jokes

Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Two weeks later: Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, management, mean
A lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were camping in a backwoods section of Maine. Early one morning, the two went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears - a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast as he could, and got the local backwoods sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim and shot the female. "Whatdidja do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!" "Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, friendship, lawyer
Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: food, work
When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, food
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