The best food jokes

Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?" "I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made all the appetisers herself and we have a caterer coming in to provide plenty of sandwiches and cakes for all of our guests." "I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you properly prepared spiritually?" "Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
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More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food, priest
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
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More jokes about: dog, food, winter
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
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More jokes about: beauty, blonde, food, stupid
Yo mama is so old that when she breastfeeds it's just powder.
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More jokes about: age, food
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a subway she mistook the train for a sandwich and ate it.
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More jokes about: fat, food, travel, Yo mama
Q: What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? A: Boo-bees.
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More jokes about: animal, food, sex
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
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More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women
Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100. So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?." The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, food, money