The best food jokes

Employee: "Hi welcome to McDonald's what can I get you today." Little Johnny: "Can I get some McWater, A McNumber10, and a McCoke." Employee: "Sir you know you don't have to put Mc in front of anything you order." Little Johnny: "Ok I just really like Donald's." Employee: "Sir its McDonald's." Little Johnny: "Ma'am you don't have to put Mc in front of everything."
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has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, food, little Johnny
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
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has 64.17 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: flirt, food, romantic
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob. "Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work." "Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday." So I call him on his cell. "What gives, bro,?" I ask. "Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes." I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer." "Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
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has 64.09 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, friendship, time, work
Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
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has 63.98 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Yo Mommas teeth are so yellow I can't believe it's not butter.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, Yo mama
Your theeth are so yellow when you opend the popcorn packet it said "We are family."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: family, food, insulting
My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table. He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: death, food, funeral, old people, wife
The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: food, god, husband, kids, life
Q: What did the clock do when it was hungry? A: It went back four seconds.
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: food, time
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