The best food jokes

What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, life, time
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
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More jokes about: food, work
Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Three guys are alone on a desert island: an engineer, a biologist and an economist. They are starving and don't have a thing to eat, but somehow they find a can of beans on the shore. The engineer says: "Let's hit the can with a rock until it opens." The biologist has another idea: "No. We should wait for a while. Erosion will do the job." Finally, the economist says: "Let's assume that we have a can opener".
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More jokes about: desert island, food, work
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob. "Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work." "Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday." So I call him on his cell. "What gives, bro,?" I ask. "Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes." I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer." "Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
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More jokes about: black humor, food, friendship, time, work
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
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More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
Vote: has 67.69 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, military
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Yo Momma's so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border!
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More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama


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