Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.
Roses are red lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?" Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.