Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Two weeks later: Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
Three guys are stranded on a island; black guy, white guy, and a Mexican. They come across a Indian tribe, the chief said" go into the forest and pick a fruit and bring it back. We are going to shove it up your ass, if you scream we will cut off your head". The white guy goes in and brings back a banana they shove it up his ass he screamed soo they cut off his head. The Mexican goes in and comes back with a grape they shove it up his ass he screams. They all look at his and ask" why you scream?" The Mexican says" because the black guy is coming back with a watermelon.
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.