The best food jokes

Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
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has 66.07 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work
Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
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has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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has 65.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
One day, little Suzie was strolling around the house and just happened to pass by her sister’s room. She heard her sister say on the phone to her boy friend. “Your such an as***!” and she hung up. Suzie asked what as*** had meant and her sister sayin “Uh… it means… uhh.. boyfriend!”. Suzie is delighted to hear a new nice word. Then,She was walking past the bathroom where her dad was shaving. Her dad had cut himself and yelled “SHIT!” Then turniing around saw little Suzie ask what shit means. Dad, being quite shocked answered “It uhh.. It.. It means shaving cream.” Then, Suzie walked downstairs to help her mom with the dinner turkey. Suzie’s dad’s boss was coming to dinner tonight. When Suzie went in the kitchen, her mom accidently cut herself yelled”F***k!”. Suzie asked what f***k meant and mom replied ” it..it..it uummm…it means cut… yeah, cut.” Just as mom said that, the doorbell rang and asked Suzie to go and get it. When Suzie opened the door, her dad’s boss was standing there. Boss asked” Well hello young lady! Can I ask where your family is? ”Then Suzie said” Well, my sister’s upstairs talking to her as*** on the phone, my dad’s in the bathroom wiping the shit off his face and my mom’s in the kitchen f***g the turkey!”
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, phone
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, mother in law
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: food, life, political
A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is anything OK?"
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, old people
There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, food
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on da toilet it said here's a carrot and a diet coke.
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry. So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
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has 65.30 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, friendship, mean
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