The best food jokes

Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
Vote: has 66.09 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, racist
*Girl is crying* Dad: Why you crying? Girl: My boyfriend dumped me! Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him! Dad: I didn't Girl: Where did you go? Dad: To get you icecream :D Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?! Dad: So I could get it for free!
Vote: has 65.94 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, food, women
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Vote: has 65.92 % from 503 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, family, food
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were on a plane. The red head takes a bite of an apple doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The brunette takes a bite out of an orange doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The blonde takes a bit of a bomb doesn't like it she throws it out the window. They get out of the plane. They come up to a little boy asks why he is crying! he says "An apple fell on my dog and killed my dog." They keep walking and come up to a little girl and asks why she is crying. She says" An orange fell on my cat and killed my cat." They keep walking. They come up to a blonde laughing her head off. "Why are you laughing so hard?" they said. "When I farted the building blew up!"
Vote: has 65.84 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, blonde, food, ginger
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, money
First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, military
A preacher's wife goes to the butcher. The butcher asks if she'd like to try some damn ham. The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Ham" is the brand name of the meat and shows her the packaging with the beaver and dam logo. That night, the preacher asks, "What's for dinner?" His wife says she bought some damn ham from the butcher. The preacher scolds his wife for using such language in their home. She explains the "Dam Ham brand name and their logo. At the dinner table, the preacher asks his 16-year-old son to pass him the "Dam Ham." The son replies, "I'll pass the damn ham if you pass me the muthaf**kin' mashed potatoes."
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, wife
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, time
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
Vote: has 65.30 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math