Yo mama so poor she bragged about the time she almost ate at a restaraunt.
Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
Q: What did the clock do when it was hungry? A: It went back four seconds.
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she uses bacon as bandages.