The best food jokes

A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast-food restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh, no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared 50-50.” The young man asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied, “Not yet. It’s his turn to use our teeth.”
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, old people
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
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has 64.63 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, Hitler, work
Yo mama so poor she bragged about the time she almost ate at a restaraunt.
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry. So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, friendship, mean
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
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has 64.28 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, math
Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life
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