The best food jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, time
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, gym, kids, sport
The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, god, husband, kids, life
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, food, romantic
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
Vote: has 65.14 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, food, kids, ugly
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
Vote: has 65.08 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were on a plane. The red head takes a bite of an apple doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The brunette takes a bite out of an orange doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The blonde takes a bit of a bomb doesn't like it she throws it out the window. They get out of the plane. They come up to a little boy asks why he is crying! he says "An apple fell on my dog and killed my dog." They keep walking and come up to a little girl and asks why she is crying. She says" An orange fell on my cat and killed my cat." They keep walking. They come up to a blonde laughing her head off. "Why are you laughing so hard?" they said. "When I farted the building blew up!"
Vote: has 64.96 % from 128 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, blonde, food, ginger
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, drug, food, life