The best food jokes

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
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has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: cat, food, kitty, life, poems
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: bird, Christmas, death, food, Thanksgiving
Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself in safeway and starved to death.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: death, food, stupid, Yo mama
Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
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has 65.51 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: food, life, racist
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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has 65.30 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Yo mama's so fat the only alphabet she knows is her KFCs.
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese. The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats. She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?" An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, food, geography, old people, travel
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
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