The best food jokes

I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, food, kids, ugly
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Knock Knock. Who's there! Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in!
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has 65.95 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: food, knock-knock
My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry. So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
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has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, friendship, mean
Yo mama's so fat that even Barack Obama couldn't afford to take her out to dinner.
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has 65.90 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, political, Yo mama
Yo mama so poor she bragged about the time she almost ate at a restaraunt.
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has 65.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
Q: Did you hear about the new black breakfast cereal? A: It's called "Nuttin' Bitch!"
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has 65.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, racist
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans... Walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group. "You can't come in here without a Thai."
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, food
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
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has 65.55 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: cat, food, kitty, life, poems
Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
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