The best food jokes

A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
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More jokes about: disgusting, food, hospital, sex
The houseman invited over his boss and partners, for lunch. With them, his little 5year-old daughter was there. "Don’t you want to say the prayers before lunch, so Our Holly Father give us his blessings?," asks the father. "But... I don’t know what to say...," the little girl admits. "Just say what you heard your mommy say last time inside the kitchen!," said her mother to help her. And the girl: "Oh, God! Why in this life, my husband must invite all these people for lunch?"
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More jokes about: food, god, husband, kids, life
During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide. Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me." He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."
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More jokes about: food, insulting, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
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More jokes about: food
Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
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More jokes about: doctor, food, life
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, food
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"
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More jokes about: food, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
If it were true that you are what you eat. Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.
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More jokes about: animal, food