How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Dragon milk.
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
A: A dic-tater.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
A man walks into a bar. As he sits down, he looks up and notices three pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. He asks the bartender "what's with the meat?"
The bartender says, "If you can jump up and slap all three pieces at once, you get free drinks for an hour. If you miss even one, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks for the rest of the night. Wanna give it a go?"
The man takes another look at the meat, then says, "I think I'll pass. The steaks are too high."
Yo momma so fat, her patronus is a cake.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
Vote:
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
Vote:
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.