The best food jokes

Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, Yo mama
Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant. We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: "you know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together." My wife has asked me: "Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?" I have said only: "Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of beer."
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: beer, communication, food, love, marriage
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
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has 63.09 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, food
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob. "Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work." "Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday." So I call him on his cell. "What gives, bro,?" I ask. "Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes." I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer." "Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, friendship, time, work
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo momma so fat, her patronus is a cake.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
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has 62.88 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: flirt, food, romantic
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
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