The best food jokes

A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table. He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: death, food, funeral, old people, wife
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she uses bacon as bandages.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, wife
Knock Knock. Who's there! Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in!
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has 62.12 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: food, knock-knock
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
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has 61.99 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: food, sport, Yo mama
Employee: "Hi welcome to McDonald's what can I get you today." Little Johnny: "Can I get some McWater, A McNumber10, and a McCoke." Employee: "Sir you know you don't have to put Mc in front of anything you order." Little Johnny: "Ok I just really like Donald's." Employee: "Sir its McDonald's." Little Johnny: "Ma'am you don't have to put Mc in front of everything."
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has 61.96 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: business, communication, customer service, food, little Johnny
Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
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has 61.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Question: What’s the ideal breakfast setting? Answer: You’re sitting at the kitchen table and your son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of a milk carton.
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: food, wife, women
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
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