What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
Yo momma is so fat she made chocolate frogs go extinct.
My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?" Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
Knock Knock. Who's there! Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in!
Yo mama nose is so big she could smell what the rock was cooking before he started cooking.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she uses bacon as bandages.
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
A random communist leader hears about a man making jokes about him. He organizes a feast and calls the man. Leader: "This is how all meals will look in the future!" Man: (looks for a few seconds at the leader then says): "I thought I was the one around with the jokes."