The best food jokes

Your theeth are so yellow when you opend the popcorn packet it said "We are family."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, food, insulting
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza: Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread" Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!" Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: customer service, food, stupid, technology, time
Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity."
Vote: has 66.44 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, money
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, science, sex, wedding, women
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?" Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, little Johnny, school, teacher
*Girl is crying* Dad: Why you crying? Girl: My boyfriend dumped me! Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him! Dad: I didn't Girl: Where did you go? Dad: To get you icecream :D Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?! Dad: So I could get it for free!
Vote: has 65.92 % from 89 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, food, women
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks. "Yes," she purrs. "I am." "Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, bartender, dirty, food, money
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, food, life


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