The best food jokes

A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, hospital, sex
*Girl is crying* Dad: Why you crying? Girl: My boyfriend dumped me! Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him! Dad: I didn't Girl: Where did you go? Dad: To get you icecream :D Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?! Dad: So I could get it for free!
has 65.92 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, women
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection. Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread. So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread. The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it." Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
has 65.91 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, food, jewish
Roses are red lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.
has 65.83 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, poems, sex, time
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: bar, food, life
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
has 65.49 % from 518 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, food
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital
Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.
has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, food, insulting, Yo mama
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