Q: Did you hear about the new black breakfast cereal? A: It's called "Nuttin' Bitch!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" came the reply
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.
What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.