The best food jokes

Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, mother in law
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, food, stupid
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Yo momma is so fat she made chocolate frogs go extinct.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, food
A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!" The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, ugly, vulgar, wife
Knock Knock. Who's there! Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in!
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has 62.31 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: food, knock-knock
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: couple, food, marriage, sex, wife
Roses are red lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.
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has 62.27 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, poems, sex, time
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