The best food jokes

Yo Mommas teeth are so yellow I can't believe it's not butter.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, Yo mama
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, friendship, mean
Q: What do you call fake spaghetti? A: "I'm pasta."
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, food
A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast-food restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh, no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared 50-50.” The young man asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied, “Not yet. It’s his turn to use our teeth.”
Vote:
has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, old people
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
Vote:
has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, men, wife, work
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were on a plane. The red head takes a bite of an apple doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The brunette takes a bite out of an orange doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The blonde takes a bit of a bomb doesn't like it she throws it out the window. They get out of the plane. They come up to a little boy asks why he is crying! he says "An apple fell on my dog and killed my dog." They keep walking and come up to a little girl and asks why she is crying. She says" An orange fell on my cat and killed my cat." They keep walking. They come up to a blonde laughing her head off. "Why are you laughing so hard?" they said. "When I farted the building blew up!"
Vote:
has 62.13 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, food, ginger
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob. "Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work." "Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday." So I call him on his cell. "What gives, bro,?" I ask. "Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes." I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer." "Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
Vote:
has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, friendship, time, work
Yo mama's so fat the only alphabet she knows is her KFCs.
Vote:
has 62.10 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
Vote:
has 61.99 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: food, sport, Yo mama
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Vote:
has 61.98 % from 568 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, food
<<<30313233
More jokes →
Page 30 of 72.