The best food jokes

Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: If Nuts on your chest are Chestnuts and Nuts on a wall are Walnuts. What are Nuts on your chin called? A: A Cock in the mouth!
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More jokes about: communication, dirty, food
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cowboy, food, men
Knock Knock. Who's there! Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in!
Vote: has 65.28 % from 161 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, knock-knock
Yo Momma's so fat, when she goes to Taco Bell, they run for the border!
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, christian, food
Which Women's Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive! 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Dinner/Dancing 5. Waffle iron 1. CANDY It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR... You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love. 2. FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR... You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die. 3. A SWEET POEM It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR... You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. 4. DINNER/DANCING It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR... You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor. 5. WAFFLE IRON It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR... You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving kitchen appliances.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, food, mean, romantic, women
A couple goes to Mexico City on vacation and eats at a famous local restaurant. The waiter tells them they have a delicious special every Sunday, so the couple orders the special. With great fanfare, the waiter brings out a large silver serving platter with two huge steaming rounds of meat, juices dripping. It smells delicious and tastes even better. The couple is delighted with their meal, and the husband asks the waiter what fabulous meat was in the dish. "Senor," he explains, "each Saturday night, we have the bullfights, and that was the bull's balls you ate." The couple is a bit taken aback by what they have just eaten, but it was delicious, so they get over it. Six months later, the couple returns to Mexico City and decides to go to the same restaurant. Feeling adventuresome, they order the same dish. Once again, with great fanfare, the waiter brings out the huge silver serving dish and places it on the table. But this time, there are two tiny pieces of meat, barely enough for one. The man says, "Excuse me, but the last time we were here and ordered this dish, it was huge, more than enough for two. Why is this portion so small?" The waiter smiles and replies, "Well, you see, senor, sometimes the bull wins!"
Vote: has 65.14 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, holiday, husband, mexican