Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam!
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself in safeway and starved to death.
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection. Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread. So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread. The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it." Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Yo mama's so fat the only alphabet she knows is her KFCs.