The best food jokes

For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish, food
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, work
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam!
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: car, food, women
One day, little Suzie was strolling around the house and just happened to pass by her sister’s room. She heard her sister say on the phone to her boy friend. “Your such an as***!” and she hung up. Suzie asked what as*** had meant and her sister sayin “Uh… it means… uhh.. boyfriend!”. Suzie is delighted to hear a new nice word. Then,She was walking past the bathroom where her dad was shaving. Her dad had cut himself and yelled “SHIT!” Then turniing around saw little Suzie ask what shit means. Dad, being quite shocked answered “It uhh.. It.. It means shaving cream.” Then, Suzie walked downstairs to help her mom with the dinner turkey. Suzie’s dad’s boss was coming to dinner tonight. When Suzie went in the kitchen, her mom accidently cut herself yelled”F***k!”. Suzie asked what f***k meant and mom replied ” it..it..it uummm…it means cut… yeah, cut.” Just as mom said that, the doorbell rang and asked Suzie to go and get it. When Suzie opened the door, her dad’s boss was standing there. Boss asked” Well hello young lady! Can I ask where your family is? ”Then Suzie said” Well, my sister’s upstairs talking to her as*** on the phone, my dad’s in the bathroom wiping the shit off his face and my mom’s in the kitchen f***g the turkey!”
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, phone
Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself in safeway and starved to death.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, food, stupid, Yo mama
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
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has 64.73 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: cat, food, kitty, life, poems
Yo mama's so fat the only alphabet she knows is her KFCs.
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
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