The best food jokes

Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup." Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
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Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.
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What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.
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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda? A berry bubbly bunny.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.
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Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100. So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?." The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
Vote: has 64.52 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women