The best food jokes

Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
Vote: has 62.88 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
Vote: has 62.75 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, food
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, fitness, food, gym
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Yo' Mama is so fat, her stair master has a dinner tray attached.
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More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup." Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish, food
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food