Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
What gives milk and has a horn?
A milk tank.
Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most?
A: Fry-days.
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
Vote:
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?
He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
Vote:
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs.
His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies.
As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies.
He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs.
Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table.
He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies.
Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds?
It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.