The best food jokes

A random communist leader hears about a man making jokes about him. He organizes a feast and calls the man. Leader: "This is how all meals will look in the future!" Man: (looks for a few seconds at the leader then says): "I thought I was the one around with the jokes."
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, political, time
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, wife
Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.
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has 58.43 % from 382 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, food
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
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has 58.42 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food, single
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
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has 58.42 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: democrat, food, money, political
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
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has 58.42 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Yo mama nose is so big she could smell what the rock was cooking before he started cooking.
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has 58.42 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: food, ugly, Yo mama
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy ambassador at a very expensive restaurant in New York. The ambassador was so enthralled by her beauty that he asked her to marry him. The secretary knew she couldn't insult a foreign dignitary, so she decided to let him down easy. "I'll only marry you under three conditions." "Anything, anything," said the ambassador. "First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72-karat diamond, along with a 28-inch studded matching necklace for our engagement." The ambassador picked up his cell phone, called his personal accountant, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!" "Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Hamptons, along with a 40-acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of France." The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal brokers in New York and France, and said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!" The secretary knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to. "Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10-inch penis." A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"
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has 58.28 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage
At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber. "Maybe the list is alphabetical," I offered. So he started searching from the bottom of the list: "Q... Q... Q..."
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, stupid
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor, christian, food
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