Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" came the reply
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.
For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.