The best food jokes

Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
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has 63.49 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: food, sport, Yo mama
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were on a plane. The red head takes a bite of an apple doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The brunette takes a bite out of an orange doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The blonde takes a bit of a bomb doesn't like it she throws it out the window. They get out of the plane. They come up to a little boy asks why he is crying! he says "An apple fell on my dog and killed my dog." They keep walking and come up to a little girl and asks why she is crying. She says" An orange fell on my cat and killed my cat." They keep walking. They come up to a blonde laughing her head off. "Why are you laughing so hard?" they said. "When I farted the building blew up!"
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has 63.32 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, food, ginger
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, food, women
Yo mama is so old that when she breastfeeds it's just powder.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: age, food
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, fat, food, women
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, Yo mama
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
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has 63.10 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, food
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