The best food jokes

Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself in safeway and starved to death.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, food, stupid, Yo mama
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, hospital, sex
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
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has 64.64 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
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has 64.59 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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has 64.35 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese. The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats. She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?" An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, food, geography, old people, travel
Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, god, life
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