Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Fry-days.
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup." Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.
For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
What happened when the lion ate the comedian? He felt funny.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.