The best food jokes

Q: If Nuts on your chest are Chestnuts and Nuts on a wall are Walnuts. What are Nuts on your chin called? A: A Cock in the mouth!
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, food
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Vote: has 65.43 % from 514 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, family, food
Chuck Norris invented hot sauce. To put on his peppers.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cowboy, food, men
The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
Vote: has 65.20 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were on a plane. The red head takes a bite of an apple doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The brunette takes a bite out of an orange doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The blonde takes a bit of a bomb doesn't like it she throws it out the window. They get out of the plane. They come up to a little boy asks why he is crying! he says "An apple fell on my dog and killed my dog." They keep walking and come up to a little girl and asks why she is crying. She says" An orange fell on my cat and killed my cat." They keep walking. They come up to a blonde laughing her head off. "Why are you laughing so hard?" they said. "When I farted the building blew up!"
Vote: has 65.17 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, blonde, food, ginger
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, kids, relationship, teacher, time
Which Women's Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive! 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Dinner/Dancing 5. Waffle iron 1. CANDY It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR... You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love. 2. FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR... You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die. 3. A SWEET POEM It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR... You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. 4. DINNER/DANCING It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR... You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor. 5. WAFFLE IRON It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR... You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving kitchen appliances.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, food, mean, romantic, women