Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant? He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.
Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Yo Mama is so fat, when she sweats, she smells like butter.
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."