The best food jokes

Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers. The food cooks itself out of pressure.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, science
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is anything OK?"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, old people
Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with? A: Why, shortbread of course!
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: elf, food
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
Vote: has 63.61 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
Vote: has 63.26 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food, god, life
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food


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