At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber.
"Maybe the list is alphabetical," I offered.
So he started searching from the bottom of the list: "Q... Q... Q..."
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Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies?
A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He has to eat his way out.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He goes back for more.
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What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?
He had his first taste of Christianity!
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Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him:
"Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!"
"I do not want," says the little one.
"Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful."
"I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest.
"My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow."
And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The moospaper.
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?"
Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
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Question: What’s the ideal breakfast setting?
Answer: You’re sitting at the kitchen table and your son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of a milk carton.
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds?
It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
A: Why, shortbread of course!
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies.