Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.
Yo momma so fat, her patronus is a cake.
Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps? Under his work boots.
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.