Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.
Los Angeles Homeless... Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup." Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable? A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe. It's now called Shakey's.
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.