The best food jokes

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
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More jokes about: couple, food, marriage, sex, wife
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection. Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread. So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread. The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it." Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
Vote: has 63.51 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, food, jewish
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
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More jokes about: animal, food, god, life
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef.
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More jokes about: animal, food
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Yo mama is so old that when she breastfeeds it's just powder.
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More jokes about: age, food
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self? A: Beef stroganoff.
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More jokes about: animal, food, game
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
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More jokes about: animal, food, Yo mama
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food


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