Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry. So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
Question: What’s the ideal breakfast setting? Answer: You’re sitting at the kitchen table and your son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of a milk carton.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.
Los Angeles Homeless... Homeless people here are different. You ever notice that? Our homeless people are serious, man. They have signs that not only say, "Will work for food," some of them have what they want: "Baked potato, salad, shrimp, sweet potato pie, sour chives."
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup." Waiter: "So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?"
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
"Why are you studying your Easter candy?" "I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"