Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 95%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks. "Yes," she purrs. "I am." "Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.