The best food jokes

Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? It's mashing!
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: food, life, racist
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
Yo Mama is so fat, when she sweats, she smells like butter.
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
Question: What’s the ideal breakfast setting? Answer: You’re sitting at the kitchen table and your son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of a milk carton.
has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, wife, women
Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, gym, kids, sport
A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about. The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast. His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance. The son thought about this and went along happy. The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem. Her morning breath was horrid. Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath. The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world. The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea. She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating. The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy. The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences. One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing. He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong. With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"
has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, marriage, wedding, wife
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women
Three guys are alone on a desert island: an engineer, a biologist and an economist. They are starving and don't have a thing to eat, but somehow they find a can of beans on the shore. The engineer says: "Let's hit the can with a rock until it opens." The biologist has another idea: "No. We should wait for a while. Erosion will do the job." Finally, the economist says: "Let's assume that we have a can opener".
has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: desert island, food, work
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
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