The best food jokes

Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, food
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, time
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde, customer service, food
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, food
A professor and a doctor both love the same girl. Each one tries to get rid of the other. Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week. Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there. When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, food, love, teacher
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