A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk? A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
Champions eat Wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats Champions for breakfast.
What does a cannibal eat with cheese? Pickled organs.