The best food jokes

Inside a Best Buy store. Customer: "Can you help me? I'm looking for a shredder." Coworker: "We have all types of shredders. What will you be shredding primarily?" Customer: "Collard greens."
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food
Q: What is a ghosts favorite snack? A: Boo berries
has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: food, Thanksgiving
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like Mr. Plumber?" A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like Mr. Goodwrench?" A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?" "What do I look like Bob Vila?" He sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV. One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either. When his wife returned home, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks and the car's running?" She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything. "Wow, did he charge us anything?" "No, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him." "Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" "Cake? What the hell do I look like Betty Crocker?"
has 55.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, sex, work
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: food, school, teacher
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a subway she mistook the train for a sandwich and ate it.
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, travel, Yo mama
Yo mama so dumb she used old spice body wash to cook.
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: food, weed
At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?" The blonde says, "Soup and ice cream."
has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, work
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: food, men, music
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