"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
If you want to lose weight, it is not so difficult as it seems. You only have to leave out the third breakfast, the fourth lunch and the fifth dinner.
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.
Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"
When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.