The best food jokes

Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, food
A professor and a doctor both love the same girl. Each one tries to get rid of the other. Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week. Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there. When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, food, love, teacher
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
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has 55.87 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
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has 55.58 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, customer service, food
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