Q: What is a Democratic Free Market?
A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?
Roost beef.
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
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Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Q: What do you call an Asian family tree?
A: A rice bush.
Q: What did one vegan say to the other vegan?
A: We have to stop meating like this.
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A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind.
After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed.
So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber.
The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely."
So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband.
On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face.
The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"
The woman gets up and enters the man's bed.
The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out.
As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face.
The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"