Three guys are alone on a desert island: an engineer, a biologist and an economist.
They are starving and don't have a thing to eat, but somehow they find a can of beans on the shore.
The engineer says: "Let's hit the can with a rock until it opens."
The biologist has another idea: "No. We should wait for a while. Erosion will do the job."
Finally, the economist says: "Let's assume that we have a can opener".
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on da toilet it said here's a carrot and a diet coke.
A boy asks his mother for breakfast.
She says, "Not until you feed the animals."
The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today."
So he kicks the chicken.
He does the same with the cow and the pig.
The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry.
His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon."
Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat.
The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she uses bacon as bandages.
If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled.
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee.
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps?
Under his work boots.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.