That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on a rainbow she made Skittles!
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.” “And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked. “Heavens, no!” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”
Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.
Yo mama is so poor, I went to her place for dinner the other day, and when I asked what we were having, she put her foot up on the table and said "corn !".
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?" Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"