The best food jokes

A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, women
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weed
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: family, food, health, hospital
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: food, men, wine, work
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, food, men
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk? An udder failure.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, time
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
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has 56.75 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food, gay
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.
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has 56.72 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: asian, family, food, life, racist
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