How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew?
When it has hares in it.
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?"
Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
Because he ate too many crabs.
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen?
Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
Q: What's the difference between apple pie and pussy?
A: You can eat Granmas apple pie.
A guy is going down on a prostitute.
During the process he pulls out a piece of corn.
Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues.
Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick."
The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
"I’m in a big trouble!"
"Why is that?"
"I saw a mouse in my house!"
"Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap."
"I don’t have one."
"Well then, buy one."
"Can’t afford one."
"I can give you mine if you want."
"That sounds good."
"All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap."
"I don’t have any cheese."
"Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap."
"I don’t have oil."
"Well, then put only a small piece of bread."
"I don’t have bread."
"Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"