The best food jokes

A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
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More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
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More jokes about: animal, food
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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More jokes about: Christmas, food, husband, new year, women
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
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More jokes about: food, friendship, mean
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when the waiter brought out her strip steak, she asked where to tuck the dollar bills.
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More jokes about: food, money, Yo mama
Yo Mommas teeth are so yellow I can't believe it's not butter.
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More jokes about: food, Yo mama
Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
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More jokes about: black humor, food
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
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More jokes about: black humor, food
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
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More jokes about: black humor, food, women