There were three guys manhers, shaup and shed. They went for a drive, shed wanted to go to the store to pick up snacks for the ride. So shed went in the store. Twenty minutes passes they were getting impatient so manhers went in what's taking him so long. Minutes later a police officer went to him and asked his name he replied "shaup!" Police officer was startled what he said. Police said "where's your manners boy!". Shaup replied to the officer "he's inside picking up shed*
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?" Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a subway she mistook the train for a sandwich and ate it.
Yo mama so fat and poor the only thing she could afford to eat was grease.
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.