The best food jokes

How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion? A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
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More jokes about: animal, food
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she tried to put the leftover orange juice back in the rind.
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More jokes about: food, stupid, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
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More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage
Q: What is a Democratic Free Market? A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: democrat, food, money, political
A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom "You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops." (WHACK...she spanks him) He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know mum, but it won't be fucking Fruit Loops."
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, food, kids
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food