Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a subway she mistook the train for a sandwich and ate it.
Yo mama so dumb she used old spice body wash to cook.
Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!