The best food jokes

Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook? She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ? A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, winter
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, lawyer
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man? A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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has 58.58 % from 583 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, food, racist, white people
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?” “Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied. “Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I’ll go down there and get her.”
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, food, old people, weather
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.” “And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked. “Heavens, no!” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, money, old people, time, wife
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge? A: In case she wanted black coffee.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, stupid
Q: What is a ghosts favorite snack? A: Boo berries
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, Thanksgiving
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