The best food jokes

Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.
Vote: has 55.63 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, food
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
Vote: has 55.57 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house. They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says, "Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, food
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment? Potpourri.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, lesbian, women
What did the potato chip say to the battery? If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
Vote: has 55.11 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life
A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?" She replies, "Sorry, this is a library." The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, food
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like Mr. Plumber?" A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like Mr. Goodwrench?" A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?" "What do I look like Bob Vila?" He sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV. One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either. When his wife returned home, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks and the car's running?" She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything. "Wow, did he charge us anything?" "No, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him." "Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" "Cake? What the hell do I look like Betty Crocker?"
Vote: has 54.89 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, sex, work
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on da toilet it said here's a carrot and a diet coke.
Vote: has 54.87 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food
Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food