The best food jokes

If you want to lose weight, it is not so difficult as it seems. You only have to leave out the third breakfast, the fourth lunch and the fifth dinner.
Vote:
has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: fat, food
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, family, food
Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies? A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He has to eat his way out. Q: Whats worse then that? A: He goes back for more.
Vote:
has 56.59 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, food
Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
Vote:
has 56.26 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, food, morbid
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.
Vote:
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, relationship, teacher, time
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"
Vote:
has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, food
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
Vote:
has 55.39 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
<<<42434445
More jokes →
Page 42 of 72.