The best food jokes

What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed? You can smell the carrots on his breath.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night? A: They don't want to get "beat up".
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: easter, food, party
A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts. "I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!" "That’s okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway."
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, disgusting, family, food
Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers. The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Fry-days.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: easter, food
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, lawyer
During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day our daily chicken" and KFC will donate 10 million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. 2 weeks later the man approached the Pope again. This time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million, this time the Pope accepts. At a meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision in the good news/bad news format. The good news is… that we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account!
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
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