First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ? A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk? An udder failure.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.