Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
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Q: What is a Democratic Free Market?
A: One that hands out slices of cheese.
At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber.
"Maybe the list is alphabetical," I offered.
So he started searching from the bottom of the list: "Q... Q... Q..."
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Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.
A man visits his aunt in the nursing home.
It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.
Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts.
"I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!"
"That’s okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway."
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Yo mama is so poor that she washes paper plates.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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Yo mama so fat that when she sat on a rainbow she made Skittles!