The best food jokes

How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, men
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, men
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
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has 54.26 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, customer service, food
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