The best food jokes

Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
Vote:
has 54.89 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
Vote:
has 54.88 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, Hitler, racist
Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"
Vote:
has 54.81 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: blonde, college, communication, food
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like Mr. Plumber?" A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like Mr. Goodwrench?" A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?" "What do I look like Bob Vila?" He sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV. One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either. When his wife returned home, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks and the car's running?" She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything. "Wow, did he charge us anything?" "No, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him." "Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" "Cake? What the hell do I look like Betty Crocker?"
Vote:
has 54.81 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, sex, work
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, Thanksgiving
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
Vote:
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
KFC in Asia? Korean fried cat.
Vote:
has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cat, food, mean
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
Vote:
has 54.33 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, science
<<<44454647
More jokes →
Page 44 of 72.