A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"
"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"
"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."
"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."
"It's a big rooster," she said.
The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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Champions eat Wheaties for breakfast.
Chuck Norris eats Champions for breakfast.
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
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Before sliced bread, people used to say "That's the greatest thing since Chuck Norris".
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Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college?
A: "Would you like fries with that?"
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When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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A man walks into his doctor's office and whines, "Doc, you've got to help me; I've got a strawberry stuck up my ass."
The doctor pulls out his prescription pad and says, "I've got cream for that!"
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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