Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
Yo mama so fat she puts insurance on her food.
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
Why did the horses kept saying orange juice? Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal.