What did the potato chip say to the battery?
If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite.
Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
Vote:
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
When the cake jumps out of the girl!
Vote:
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three.
One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
A: A dic-tater.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?
Hamburger.
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave.
"No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating.
They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast.
At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better.
The man said that he actually felt worse.
“Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked.
“No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”