The best food jokes

What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?" The blonde says, "Soup and ice cream."
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, work
A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order. "I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband. "But sir, what about the mad cow?" asks the waiter. "Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, wife
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
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has 53.62 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero.
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: food, racist
I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
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has 53.62 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: food, weed
Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
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has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
A husband is watching footie when his wife interrupts, "Honey, the hallway light has been flickering for weeks. Can you fix it?" He angrily looks at her and says, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E Logo printed on my forehead? I don’t think so!" "Well, what about the fridge door. It doesn’t close right." "Fix the Fridge Door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don’t think so!" "Ok", she says, "then you could at least fix the front door steps. They’re about to break." "I ain’t no damn Carpenter and I don’t wanna fix any steps," he says. "Does it look like I’ve got ACE hardware written on my forehead? I don’t think so. I’ve had enough. I’m off to the bar!" After a couple of hours at the local, he feels guilty and decides to go home and make up with his wife. As he walks up to the house he notice the steps are fixed. As he goes into the house he sess the hall light is working, and as he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Darling, how’d you get all this fixed?" She replies: "Well, after you left I was sitting outside crying when a nice young man asked what was wrong. I told him, he offered to do all the repairs and all I had to do was to either bake a cake or go to bed with him." He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?" She replied, "Helo...Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead?"
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has 53.57 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, wife
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