The best food jokes

Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food? A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, parrot, pirate
Imagine, there are on the bus only 5 persons: A busman, an old woman, two younger women and one man. The old woman comes to the busman and tells him: "Dear busman, would you like to eat a few hazelnuts?" The busman says: "Yes, why not?" He takes the hazelnuts from her hand and eats them. This repeats even two times, but when the old woman offers other hazelnuts to the busman for the fourth time, the busman asks this old woman: "Madame, where do you take all these hazelnuts from? It is a real amount and I am already full." The old woman only says: "You know, dear busman, I have bought the chocolate with hazelnuts, the hazelnuts are very hard for my dental plate, so I have sucked them all out, brought it to you and you have already eaten them all."
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, chocolate, dentist, disgusting, food
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
Vote: has 58.00 % from 71 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
Vote: has 57.62 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet." They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?" The other replies, "I'm having a ball!" Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dammit, slow down, you're eating too fast!"
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Yo' Mama is so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, she brought on world hunger.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cowboy, food, men


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