The best food jokes

I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
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has 52.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, birthday, dog, food
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
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has 52.64 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
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has 52.55 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, Hitler, racist
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office. At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful ‘Independence day' in all my life!"
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, life, marriage, time
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner. They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good. Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door. The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families. She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun. They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls. The father says "this soup stinks!" The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful." The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating." After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on. The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: family, food, mean, religious, vulgar
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, food
What is a bear's favourite drink? Koka-Koala.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
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