Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
KFC in Asia? Korean fried cat.
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
What did the potato chip say to the battery? If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!