The best food jokes

What's the only thing white girls swallow? Starbucks.
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, easter, food, work
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, elephant, food
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
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More jokes about: animal, food, Thanksgiving
Why did the gray whale go on a diet? Because he wasn't a Fin whale.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fish, food
Yo mama so fat when she went to bruger king the bruger was running as fast as they can.
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More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy ambassador at a very expensive restaurant in New York. The ambassador was so enthralled by her beauty that he asked her to marry him. The secretary knew she couldn't insult a foreign dignitary, so she decided to let him down easy. "I'll only marry you under three conditions." "Anything, anything," said the ambassador. "First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72-karat diamond, along with a 28-inch studded matching necklace for our engagement." The ambassador picked up his cell phone, called his personal accountant, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!" "Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Hamptons, along with a 40-acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of France." The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal brokers in New York and France, and said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!" The secretary knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to. "Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10-inch penis." A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"
Vote: has 54.18 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, marriage
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex