Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
What did the potato chip say to the battery?
If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she brought on world hunger.
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
I threw a ball for my dog...
It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
A guy is going down on a prostitute.
During the process he pulls out a piece of corn.
Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues.
Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick."
The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Vote:
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.
"For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
Vote:
A husband and wife go to a restaurant.
The waiter approaches the table to take their order.
"I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband.
"But sir, what about the mad cow?" asks the waiter.
"Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."