Q: Where do cowboys cook their meals? A: On the range.
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
Q: What do you call a fried potato in your pants? A: Dick-tator.
Q: What is the worst thing about a vegetable? A: Spitting them back up in a wheelchair.
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk? A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner. They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good. Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door. The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families. She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun. They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls. The father says "this soup stinks!" The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful." The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating." After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on. The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.