Yo mama so fat that when she sat on a rainbow she made Skittles!
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?" Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days.