The best food jokes

A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For One 1 16oz can of Miller Lite The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?" The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?" He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: food, women
When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite. Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
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has 51.70 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, food, morbid
A retiree and his aged wife started having problems in remembering, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor tells them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the wife got up from her chair and her retired husband asks, "Where are you going?" She replies, "To the kitchen." he asks "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" She replies, "Sure." he then asks him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" She says, "No, I can remember that." he then says, "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down cause I know you'll forget that." She says, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." he replies, "Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down." With irritation in her voice, she says, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." She then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes she returns from the kitchen and hands him a plate of bacon and eggs. He stares at the plate for a moment and says, "You forgot my toast."
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, memory, old people, technology, wife
Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ? A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, winter
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Q: Did you hear about the new black breakfast cereal? A: It's called "Nuttin' Bitch!"
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has 51.49 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, racist
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
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