The best food jokes

Yo mama so fat and poor the only thing she could afford to eat was grease.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, food, money, Yo mama
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food, health
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
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More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
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More jokes about: beauty, blonde, food, stupid
Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
If you want to lose weight, it is not so difficult as it seems. You only have to leave out the third breakfast, the fourth lunch and the fifth dinner.
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More jokes about: fat, food
The friend of my mother has taken look at the photo on which I was and has said: "yeah, the stepfather of Johny is a real expert of breeding of meaty pig types."
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More jokes about: animal, communication, fat, food, insulting
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy ambassador at a very expensive restaurant in New York. The ambassador was so enthralled by her beauty that he asked her to marry him. The secretary knew she couldn't insult a foreign dignitary, so she decided to let him down easy. "I'll only marry you under three conditions." "Anything, anything," said the ambassador. "First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72-karat diamond, along with a 28-inch studded matching necklace for our engagement." The ambassador picked up his cell phone, called his personal accountant, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!" "Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Hamptons, along with a 40-acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of France." The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal brokers in New York and France, and said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!" The secretary knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to. "Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10-inch penis." A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"
Vote: has 56.55 % from 89 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, marriage
At the supermarket checkout, the cashier was having trouble finding the price for my cucumber. "Maybe the list is alphabetical," I offered. So he started searching from the bottom of the list: "Q... Q... Q..."
Vote: has 56.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: customer service, food, stupid


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