The best food jokes

Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
First cannibal: "Come and have dinner in our but tonight." Second cannibal: "What are you having?" First cannibal: "Hard-boiled legs."
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, blonde, food, stupid
Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
If you want to lose weight, it is not so difficult as it seems. You only have to leave out the third breakfast, the fourth lunch and the fifth dinner.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, food
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy ambassador at a very expensive restaurant in New York. The ambassador was so enthralled by her beauty that he asked her to marry him. The secretary knew she couldn't insult a foreign dignitary, so she decided to let him down easy. "I'll only marry you under three conditions." "Anything, anything," said the ambassador. "First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72-karat diamond, along with a 28-inch studded matching necklace for our engagement." The ambassador picked up his cell phone, called his personal accountant, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!" "Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Hamptons, along with a 40-acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of France." The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal brokers in New York and France, and said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!" The secretary knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to. "Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10-inch penis." A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"
Vote: has 56.55 % from 89 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, marriage
At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?" The blonde says, "Soup and ice cream."
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, food, work
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
Vote: has 55.91 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, food
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on a rainbow she made Skittles!
Vote: has 55.71 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, food, insulting, Yo mama
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food


<<<49505152
More jokes →
Page 49 of 69.