The best food jokes

A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
An American family has grandparents who live in Russia. Every month, the grandparents send a package of powder to the American family. The package always says: "Just add water."https://unijokes.com/ Every time the family does this the powder turns into a delicious soup. The soups are always different and the family is always excited to find out which new foreign flavor they get to try out. One day, the family receives a package in the mail containing some gray powder. Assuming that this is another soup, the family dumps it into a pot and adds some water. However, unlike all the other soups, this one t astes grainy and disgusting. The family still eats it though just to be polite. A week later, a letter from the grandpa comes in the mail saying: "Grandma Taya has died and I have sent the ashes to you. She wants to be scattered in America as that is her favorite place."
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has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: death, ethnic, family, food, geography
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, racist
What did the potato chip say to the battery? If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite. Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, men
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, men
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