The best food jokes

A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weather
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, racist
What did the potato chip say to the battery? If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite. Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Do people who run know that we're not food anymore?
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, sport
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, men, wine, work
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, men
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
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