The best food jokes

When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, customer service, food
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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has 52.23 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, husband, wife
They've broken in my house so many times, they leave notes complaining about things: "The salt was low." "Pick up bread. We be back." Grease all over my stove they cooked and left the best chicken and dressing you ever want to lay your lips on.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, food, men
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk? An udder failure.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
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