The best food jokes

Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.
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has 51.32 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, food
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking. "I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one. "I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second. "I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
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has 51.31 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, food
Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100. So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?." The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
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has 51.28 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, food, money
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
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has 51.08 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk? A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
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has 50.98 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, food
One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner. They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good. Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door. The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families. She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun. They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls. The father says "this soup stinks!" The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful." The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating." After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on. The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: family, food, mean, religious, vulgar
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, god, priest
There was a black guy, white guy, and a Mexican on a ship. The ship was sinking so the black guy said, "quick throw off anything we don't need." The Mexican threw off tacos, the black guy thre off fried chicken and the white guy threw off the black guy and the Mexican.
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has 50.77 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, mexican, racist, white people
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