Q: Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving? A: KFC isnt open on holidays.
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the kitchen, there was a huge platter of chocolate chip cookies on the table. He finally made it to the table and he reached a shaking hand towards the cookies. Suddenly, his wife slapped his hand sharply and yelled, "DON’T TOUCH THOSE - they’re for the funeral!"
What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.
Yo Mama is like a refrigerator. Meat goes in and out all day.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she keeps her diaphragm in a pizza box.
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store. "Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks. The brunet hid in one that said CAT. The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS. When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other. The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!". So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!". So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it. The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"
If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis. He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
Q: What do spaghetti and blondes have in common? A: They both wiggle when you eat them!
What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow.
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."