A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.
Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook? She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
A man walks into his doctor's office and whines, "Doc, you've got to help me; I've got a strawberry stuck up my ass." The doctor pulls out his prescription pad and says, "I've got cream for that!"
Yo mama is so skinny that she eats a nut and thoughts that she’s pregnant...