The best food jokes

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Vote: has 48.65 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
A blonde walks in the ice cream parlor and orders a chocolate ice cream cone. The clerk tells her that he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a pint of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, just vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a quart of chocolate ice cream. The clerk once again tells her he has no chocolate ice cream, only vanilla and strawberry. The blonde then orders a half gallon of chocolate ice cream. The clerk then asks her how she spells van as in vanilla. She says, V-A-N. He then asks her how she spells straw as in strawberry. She says, S-T-R-A-W He then asks her how she spells fuck as in chocolate. After a while she says there is no fuck in chocolate. THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, customer service, food
Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken? A: Egg-splosion
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More jokes about: food
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
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More jokes about: animal, black humor, food
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
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More jokes about: animal, food
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
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More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, food, sport
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, food, marriage, sex, wife
Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food, wife
What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, music
I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
Vote: has 47.62 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, weed