What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
An Asian walks into a McDonald's and says, "I'll Have An Eggroll and Some Fry Rye." "I'm sorry sir we don't serve that. Would you like anything else?" "I have quarter pounder. And when would you like to pick that up...Hiroshima!"
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Why was the horse all charged up? It ate some haywire!
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Two cannibals were having lunch. "Your wife makes a great soup," said one to the other. "Yes!" agreed the first. "But I'm going to miss her terribly."
A ham sandwich walked into a bar and the bartender said: "We don't sell to ham sandwiches." But the sandwich replied: "That's okay, I only want a beer."
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero.