The best food jokes

My wife left for her Father's home for vacation yesterday, when I was at my office. When I reached home, I found this note stick on the television. I am going to My Mom's Place for 6-7 days with kids and these are the instructions and warnings for you.... - No need to call your friends and cousins. Last time I got 4 large pizza bills beneath the sofa... 2 - Don't forget mobile on the soap holder in the bathroom like last time... Why would anyone need a mobile in the bathroom? 3 - Keep your spe cs in the box.. Last time around it was found in the refrigerator. 4 - Salary already paid to maid. No need to be extra generous. 5 - Don't disturb neighbors early in the morning asking if they have got newspaper or not? Our newspaper vendor is different from theirs... And our laundry person and milkman are also different. 6 - Your Underwear are on left side of wardrobe and on right side are kids'... Like last time, don't say I was uncomfortable at work.... 7 - All reports have been checked and you are alright. No need to go to that young lady doctor again and again. 8 - My sister and Bhabhi's birthdays have gone last month which you have already attended. No need to go to them at midnight and wish belated happy birthday.. 9 - Have cut off WiFi for 10 days. So sleep early.... 10 - Stop smiling and being happy... as Mrs. Khanna, Mrs. Avasthi, Mrs. Kulkarni, Mrs. Trivedi, Mrs. Ansari, Mrs. Rastogi, Mrs. Chatteerjee... They all w ill be out of station in this period.... 11. Do not knock on the doors of that KALMUHI Priya, next door, on pretext of asking Sugar milk coffee powder or so one. I stocked all these in kitchen cabinet. rnrnAnd last but not the least. 12 - Don't try to be oversmart.. rnI may be back any moment without informing you. Happy vacation
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: food, holiday, stupid, travel, wife
Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.
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has 50.81 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, food
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Yo' Mama is like a bag of chips: Fri-to-lay.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, Thanksgiving
Champions eat Wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats Champions for breakfast.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, food
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
What does a cannibal eat with cheese? Pickled organs.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
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