Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
There was a black guy, white guy, and a Mexican on a ship. The ship was sinking so the black guy said, "quick throw off anything we don't need." The Mexican threw off tacos, the black guy thre off fried chicken and the white guy threw off the black guy and the Mexican.
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
Facebook is like a fridge, you keep checking it and nothing has changed.
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Yo' Mama is like a bag of chips: Fri-to-lay.
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna.
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Champions eat Wheaties for breakfast. Chuck Norris eats Champions for breakfast.
Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.