The best food jokes

How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, men
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, men
Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: Why won't Easter eggs go out at night? A: They don't want to get "beat up".
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: easter, food, party
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?" The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like Mr. Plumber?" A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like Mr. Goodwrench?" A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?" "What do I look like Bob Vila?" He sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV. One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either. When his wife returned home, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks and the car's running?" She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything. "Wow, did he charge us anything?" "No, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him." "Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" "Cake? What the hell do I look like Betty Crocker?"
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has 54.20 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, sex, work
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
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