The best food jokes

A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
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More jokes about: animal, cat, food, heaven
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't really do that, did you?" "You would never get through basic training," scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, "Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"
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More jokes about: food, military
Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
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More jokes about: baby, black humor, food
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza? Pizzeria!
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More jokes about: disgusting, food
What do you call a school bus full of black people? A rotten banana.
Vote: has 40.04 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, food, racist
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
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More jokes about: animal, food, Thanksgiving
What are Women Really Thinking? So many men, so few who can afford me. Coffee, chocolate, men ... some things are just better rich. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. Guys have feelings too, But ... who cares? And your point is? Next mood swing: 6 minutes. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, marriage, money, time
A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, food, husband, wife
What does an annoying pepper do? It get's jalapeño face
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More jokes about: food
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
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More jokes about: animal, food, marriage, wife