The best food jokes

Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant? Burgers and flies.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli? A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
What do cows read at the breakfast table? The moospaper.
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has 54.14 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"
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has 53.84 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: blonde, college, communication, food
A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely." So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?" The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two make passionate love and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy idiot."
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, men, wife, work
Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
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has 53.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order. "I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak," says the husband. "But sir, what about the mad cow?" asks the waiter. "Oh," says the husband, "she'll order for herself."
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has 53.25 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, marriage, wife
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