The best food jokes

Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, teacher
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For One 1 16oz can of Miller Lite The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?" The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?" He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: food, women
Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
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has 49.26 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100. So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?." The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, food, money
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, food, heaven
If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be? Chocolate filled.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, chocolate, food, life
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
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has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dating, family, food, marriage
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
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