Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken? A: Egg-splosion
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.
What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!