Yo mama so fat all the McDonald's food are gone.
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
KFC in Asia? Korean fried cat.
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup." Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.