Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna.
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?" "I believe he's eating your lettuce."
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
Q: Where do cowboys cook their meals? A: On the range.
What did the potato chip say to the battery? If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.