What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna.
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?" "I believe he's eating your lettuce."
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.
A family of tortoises went into a cafe for some ice cream. They sat down and were about to start when Father Tortoise said, "I think it's going to rain. Junior, will you pop home and fetch my umbrella?" So off went junior for Father's umbrella, but three days later he still hadn't returned. "I think, dear," said Mother Tortoise to Father Tortoise, "that we had better eat junior's ice cream before it melts." And a voice from the door said, "If you do that I won't go."
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
Q: Where do cowboys cook their meals? A: On the range.
What did the potato chip say to the battery? If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.