What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
Little Johnny was always late for school. When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle. Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket. Next day Johnny was on time. The teacher had history class. "What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student. "Asians", said the student. "What are the people in Africa called". "Africans" said the student. Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean." To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.