When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn't eat another mortal.
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
A man walks into his doctor's office and whines, "Doc, you've got to help me; I've got a strawberry stuck up my ass." The doctor pulls out his prescription pad and says, "I've got cream for that!"
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
Two Muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Holy Shit it's hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Holy Shit... A talking muffin!"
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...