There was a black guy, white guy, and a Mexican on a ship. The ship was sinking so the black guy said, "quick throw off anything we don't need." The Mexican threw off tacos, the black guy thre off fried chicken and the white guy threw off the black guy and the Mexican.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
Yo mama so fat she puts insurance on her food.
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"