What did the potato chip say to the battery? If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party? When the cake jumps out of the girl!
How many men does it take to pop popcorn? Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A: A dic-tater.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she rubs her legs together, I smell bacon.
What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger.
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?" Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.