Two russian guys are walking down the street and they find a $100. So one says, "Ok, lets buy bread for $1 and the rest we spend on vodka?." The other says, "I don't get it, why do we need so much bread?."
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Yo mama so fat she puts insurance on her food.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
Yo mama so fat all the McDonald's food are gone.