Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup?
Cuz one more will make it "too farty!" 
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Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe.
It's now called Shakey's.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables."
The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer."
The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
What does a cannibal eat with cheese?
Pickled organs.
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Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies?
A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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What's the only thing white girls swallow?
Starbucks.
If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled.
Why did the gray whale go on a diet?
Because he wasn't a Fin whale.